Where No Man Has Gone Before
by Coeus
Summary: Beastboy and Raven are alone in the tower. Raven is feeling a bit “under the weather”. When Beastboy offers to make a run to the store for her, does he realize that he is offering to go Where No Man Has Gone Before? BBRae story
1. Ignorance is Bliss

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans or any of the name brand products you might see.

**Summary:** Beastboy and Raven are alone in the tower. Raven is feeling a bit "under the weather". When Beastboy offers to make a run to the store for her, does he realize that he is offering to go Where No Man Has Gone Before? BBRae story

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 1: Ignorance is Bliss**

Beastboy's mouth cracked open in a cavernous yawn. To be perfectly honest, he really had no business yawning, as it was noon and he had only been up since nine, but the yawn had less to do with being sleepy than it did with being bored out of his mind.

As he flipped through the channels for the three hundredth time, he raised his can of soda to his lips, only to remember that he had emptied it not thirty seconds before.

Eventually, he gave up, threw the remote onto the couch in disgust, and got up to dispose of his can. It was then that he made a startling observation.

"This sucks."

Yes, the teenager's amazing powers of deduction were quite capable of reaching that conclusion.

In the kitchen, he stood in front of the open refrigerator door. He wasn't hungry. He ran his hand along the counter as he walked back towards the living room, randomly pressing buttons on the microwave and playing with the knobs on the stove. After several minutes of wandering aimlessly around, he ended up back on the couch, loading up a video game he had beaten countless times. He definitely preferred playing against someone else, but that wasn't an option at the moment, so he was relegated to what would be a very unsatisfying victory in one player mode. Finally, the game loaded. He chose his car and the course and began zipping around the pixelated race track.

This very well could have been his fate for the rest of the day, just sitting in the living room, playing games he had already beaten, punctuated by the ingestion of copious amounts of soda and tofu and the occasional trip to the bathroom.

But, alas, that was not to be, for shortly after beginning his game someone else entered the room.

Beastboy heard the door open and close, but didn't even glance up at the new arrival. He knew exactly who it was simply through the process of elimination. On screen he was lapping his computerized opponents, unconsciously leaning his body in and out of turns along with his little car.

"Hey Raven."

"Hello Beastboy."

Beastboy didn't really expect any other interaction with the usually reserved girl, so he was a bit surprised when she continued the conversation.

"Do you know where Starfire is?"

"Yeah, she went to the mall." For absolutely no reason, he fired his lasers at the car in last place as he came around and lapped it again. The screen lit up with an orange fireball as a loud explosion blasted through the speakers.

"Oh." Raven moved up behind the couch and continued in her normal monotone, "Do you know if she took her communicator with her?"

He finished the race, easily coming in first place. Maybe if he gave all the computer cars a two lap head start it would be more challenging. "Probably, but I don't think she would appreciate you calling her."

"And why is that?"

"Because she was actually able to persuade Wonderboy to go with her." Beastboy skipped through the screens that allowed you to improve your car, knowing it would just make the game even more boring.

"Really?" Raven sounded impressed. Beastboy understood why. Usually it took an act of God (or at least Slade) to convince Robin to do anything other than train or research. On screen the next race started.

"So any idea when they will be back," Raven asked.

"They left a couple hours ago. She mentioned shopping, lunch, and a movie, so I expect it will be a while still," Beastboy answered while continuing to punch buttons.

"Wait... was this a date?"

Beastboy grinned at that, "Dude, I hope so. Even I can tell they like each other, and I'm the oblivious one."

"Oblivious, huh?" Raven smirked. "Didn't know you knew words like that."

"I know, right?" Beastboy wasn't really offended. He knew he wouldn't be winning any scrabble tournaments any time soon. "You called me that a couple weeks ago and I looked it up. I can't believe I actually remembered it."

Raven just rolled her eyes. "And used it correctly, too. Amazing. Since when do you listen to anything I say?"

Beastboy chuckled lightly. "Heh, good question. I guess if you throw enough mud at a wall, some of it is bound to stick. Anyway, Rob and Star are out, and Cy isn't back from Steel City yet. It's just you and me here."

Raven let out a frustrated, "Damn."

Beastboy finally paused his game and turned around to look at Raven. While he wasn't exactly offended by swearing (he was, in fact, known to let off a few good strings of colorful language from time to time, usually directed towards a certain half-robot and usually on the subject of various meat products) Raven almost never swore. It was enough to catch his attention.

She was standing behind the couch, scowling at the floor. Beastboy was more than a little surprised to see she was not wearing her uniform. She wore a pair of gray, flannel, drawstring pants and a plain white t-shirt. They looked like what someone would wear to bed.

Beastboy furrowed his brow in thought. _Wait a second, did she just get up? That's not like her. But this is the first time I've seen her today. And, now that I think of it, she did go to her room earlier than usual last night._

He had no idea what to think about any of this, so decided not to mention it. "Gee, thanks Rae. I didn't know my company was so terrible."

Raven just looked at him.

Beastboy gave a wide grin. "Ok, I know that for you my company is that terrible, but its not very polite to actually say it."

Raven let out a small sigh. "It's not you, Beastboy." She gave him a short glare. "At least not **this** time. I was hoping to ask Starfire for a favor. Now it looks like I have to do it myself."

"Hey, what am I? Chopped tofu? I can help you out. What were you going to ask her to do?" Beastboy replied, slightly indignant but ready to prove himself useful (and hopefully alleviate his boredom).

Raven's eyes dropped to the floor so quickly Beastboy looked down to see what she was staring at, but saw only her feet. _She's barefoot? I guess she really did just get up._ After a few seconds, Raven replied to his question."Oh, I'm, uh, not feeling well and was going to have her, um, pick something up for me. But I will just go get it myself."

As Raven started to turn away, Beastboy could have sworn he saw a light pink tinge on her cheeks. _What the...? She's blushing? And stuttering? Just because she's sick?_

Beastboy jumped up and slung an arm around her shoulders, pretending not to notice how she stiffened at the contact. "Aw, c'mon Rae. You shouldn't have to go out if you're sick. What do you need? Medicine? I'll go get it for you. What kind do you want?"

She shrugged off his arm as the red on her face darkened. She reached to pull up her hood before remembering she wasn't wearing her cloak. "Oh, um, th-thanks Beastboy, but you don't have to do that. You are, um," she looked around for a moment, as if searching, and her eyes landed on the t.v., "you're in the middle of a game. I wouldn't want to interrupt, so don't worry about it, just go back to your game, I will do it myself, no need to trouble yourself, I'll see you later, bye." By the end of her statement, she was speaking very rapidly, and started quickly walking back to her room. It almost looked like she was trying to get away from him.

_Thats weird. Since when does she care if I am in the middle of a game? And why won't she let me help? I guess she's kinda touchy about being sick._

Beastboy hurried to follow her. "It's no big deal Rae, I was just playing video games because I was so freakin' bored. I'd be happy to help. In fact, you would be doin' me a favor, just giving me something to do. So what do you need? Aspirin?"

"No, Beastboy, really..." There was a slight note of panic in her voice.

"Advil? Tylenol?"

"No, Beastboy, I just..."

"Nyquil? Dayquil? Alka Selzer?"

"**No.** Beastboy, listen to me." The panic was gone now, replaced by annoyance, but Beastboy was, to use his own words, the oblivious one. They were almost to her door.

"Um, Robitussin? Pepto Bismol? Pepcid AC?"

"**NO! **Stop, just..."

"Tums? Benadryl? Chloroseptic?"

"**NO, BEASTBOY, I **..." Her face was still red, but now it was more due to anger than embarrassment. The vein throbbing in her forehead gave that away. Unfortunately, Beastboy was too busy trying to think up more medicines to really notice, so he continued speaking as they finally reached her door.

"Umm, Tinactin? Wait, thats for athletes foot. C'mon, Raven, just tell me!"

By this point, Raven was fed up with Beastboy and his annoying persistence, and before either of them really knew what was happening, she was screaming at him.

"**FINE! I NEED TAMPONS, OK! I AM ON MY PERIOD AND NEED MORE TAMPONS! ARE YOU HAPPY!**"

As if to punctuate her anger, dark magic lashed out and shattered every bulb in the hallway. She quickly whisked into her room, leaving a very stunned Beastboy staring open-mouthed at her door.

* * *

Raven slumped against the inside of her door, breathing heavily, still furious. Various small items around her room were floating and rattling, encased in her dark energy.

_Why does he have to be so annoying! First I have to have a conversation with the back of his head because he can't stop playing a stupid game for two seconds, and then he pesters me until I can't think straight! Why can't he just ever leave me alone when I ask him to! I am going to kill him. And then I am going to kill the others for leaving me here alone with him. How could they do that to me!_

A tiny, small voice spoke up in the back of her mind

_He was only trying to help._

Raven let out a rather inelegant snort at that. _Well, I don't want his help. Especially not with this!_ It was at this moment that she finally started to realize exactly what she had screamed at Beastboy, and soon mortification replaced anger. _Oh, no. Did I actually say that? Did I yell at him about my __**period**__? _

After several minutes of alternating between berating herself, Beastboy, and the other Titans, Raven's internal reverie was broken by a light knock on the door. She let out a tiny groan, knowing who it had to be. _What does he want now?_

"What do you want, Beastboy?" There was still a very pissed off quality to her voice.

"I j-just want to t-talk. I'll make it quick, I promise. Please?"

Raven gave a deep sigh. _I swear, if he wasn't so good at that pathetic, whiny voice I would have killed him by now._

She grabbed her cloak off its peg next to the door, threw it over her shoulders, and pulled the hood up. Opening the door just enough for him to be able to see her face, she did her best to compose her voice. "What?"

A nervous Beastboy stood at her door, staring down at his suddenly fascinating feet. When he started speaking, she could barely hear him.

"Um, hi. I, uh, just wanted to apologize."

Raven stared at her green teammate for a moment before answering. "Fine. Apology accepted." Then she started to close the door.

Beastboy finally looked up, and stuck his hand out to stop the door from closing. "Wait!"

Raven narrowed her eyes menacingly at him. "What, Beastboy?"

He let go of the door and let out a small nervous chuckle. "Um, I really am sorry. I knew you weren't feeling well. I should have left you alone when you asked me to. I really was just trying to be helpful. And, um, less bored. But I didn't mean to be annoying."

Raven could see he was sincerely contrite, and decided to cut him a little slack. She slightly softened her voice as she replied, "I know. And it wasn't totally your fault. I probably overreacted. I already accepted your apology, so can we just forget this ever happened?"

A smile spread across his face as she was speaking. Not his normal goofy grin, but a small, happy smile, though she did notice that his fang was still visible. "Um, actually, Rae, I was hoping I could make it up to you."

She didn't say anything for a moment as she thought this over. This was new for him. Usually he was just thrilled to have her even listen to an apology, much less readily accept one with no retaliation in the form of physical pain. She was intrigued.

"What did you have in mind?" She tried to keep her tone even, unwilling to betray her curiosity. "Because a tofu lunch is not a peace offering."

He scowled lightly at her. "Hey, c'mon now, there is nothing wrong with tofu. You just wish you were lucky enough for me to make you a tofu meal."

She was only slightly relieved, still not knowing what he intended. "Fine, then. What did you have in mind?" It was such a simple question, really, but she was not at all prepared for the answer he gave her.

With a strangely neutral expression, not meeting her eye and with a slight blush on his cheeks, he made his offer. "Let me go to the store for you."

Raven was stunned into a wide eyed silence. She couldn't speak. She couldn't even move. But while her body had entered a temporary shutdown, her mind was working overtime.

_Did he just offer to...? No, I must have misunderstood. That's it, I heard him wrong. Or he heard me wrong earlier. Yeah. He doesn't actually understand what he is offering to do. That has to be it._

After a few seconds, her body finally started working again. Of course, it was just enough to make her soundlessly open and close her mouth, but after her goldfish impression, she was finally able to articulate a reply.

"Huh?"

Beastboy slowly looked up. The blush was still on his cheeks, but he did look her in the eyes. "You need, uh, ...stuff... from the store, but you don't feel good. So let me go get it for you."

Raven was positive she had heard correctly that time. _Obviously he doesn't know what __**stuff **__I need._ "You do know exactly what I need, don't you? That stuff on the aisle that you and Cyborg and Robin and every other male on the planet refuses to walk down." He looked away as she continued. "The aisle you guys ignore and pretend isn't there." He gulped loudly. "The aisle with 'feminine products'." Was he actually sweating? "The aisle with... Tampons!" At this pronouncement, Beastboy physically winced.

_See, I knew he didn't know what he was getting into. _It was all Raven could do to keep the smug grin off her face.

"Y-yeah, I-I know."

Smugness was quickly replaced by confusion. "What? Beastboy, are you serious?"

He was finally able to look her in the eye again, and seemed to actually gain confidence as he spoke. "Look, it's no big deal. I was looking for something to do anyways, and you don't feel well. I'll fly to the store, go in, come out, fly back. I'll be back here in, like, 10 minutes."

Raven was truly touched that he was willing to do something that would obviously make him very uncomfortable just to save her a trip.

_He really is sweet._

Raven jerked her head in surprise. It was that same small voice from earlier, the one that was defending him. _You stay out of this!_

"Thank you, Beastboy. Really. It's very nice of you. But I can't ask you to do that for me."

Beastboy was shaking his head before she even finished. "You didn't ask, Rae. I offered. It will make me feel better, saves you the trip, and let's us put this behind us without being all awkward for the next two weeks about it. C'mon, it's really not that big a deal."

Raven eyed him nervously for a minute. What he was saying made sense. It was actually very mature, as odd as that was for Beastboy. "Are you sure?"

His big goofy grin came back. "Sure I'm sure! Don't worry Rae, I'll be back before you know it."

He started walking to the elevator. He had made it about 3 steps when Raven called out. "Wait! You don't know what kind to get."

Turning back, he looked at her with a bewildered expression on his face. "They have kinds?"

Raven just stared at him for a moment, marveling at his ignorance, before shaking her head and replying, "Yes, they have kinds."

Beastboy walked back to her doorway. "Oh. Ok. So, umm, what kind do you want?"

And suddenly they were both back to awkwardly staring at their feet and fighting off blushes. It will remain a mystery if Raven would have ever worked up the nerve to describe her preferred brand of tampon to him, because at that moment she had an epiphany.

"Wait here. I will be right back." She quickly made her way to her bathroom and pulled the empty box out of the trash. She ripped the front section off and took it back to the door.

She held out the ripped cardboard for him to take. "Here. Just match the boxes."

Slowly, cautiously, tentatively he grasped the corner of the cardboard with two fingers, careful to hold it away from his body. Without another word he turned and marched towards the elevator. Raven watched him walk away, mildly impressed. _He really is braver than I give him credit for. He is literally going where no man has gone before._

Just as he reached the elevator at the end of the hall she called out to him one last time. "Are you really sure?"

He gave her a cocky little grin and replied, "Of course. I mean, really, how bad could it be?"

The elevator door closed.


	2. Into the Breach

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

**Summary:** Beastboy and Raven are alone in the tower. Raven is feeling a bit "under the weather". When Beastboy offers to make a run to the store for her, does he realize that he is offering to go Where No Man Has Gone Before? BBRae story

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 2: Into the Breach**

To the casual observer it appeared to by an idyllic autumn day in Jump City. The sun was shining merrily from its perch in the clear azure sky, unperturbed by the fluffy white clouds floating lazily by, it's beams glinting brightly from the smooth, cerulean waters of the bay below.

In truth, however, there was something very strange going on. You see, high above the bay there flew a bright green pterodactyl. This in and of itself was not extraordinary, at least not in Jump City. Everyone there knew about the resident heroes, the Teen Titans, and about the cheerful green changeling known as Beastboy. To see Beastboy in the form of a green pterodactyl flying from Titans island to the mainland was not at all uncommon. No, the most unusual part of all of this was not to see an extinct, oddly colored animal winging it's way to the city, but instead it was the fact that Beastboy was deep in thought. And after much pondering and deliberating, he reached one inescapable conclusion.

_Dude, you are a total frickin' moron. By all that is holy and vegan in the world, why did you have to volunteer to go to the store to buy __**those**__? _Even within the relative safety of his own mind, Beastboy preferred not actually stating the object of his quest. Somehow not naming it made it less embarrassing. _I mean, __**no one**__ volunteers for this type of trip. They are forced, or manipulated, or threatened into going, but they don't volunteer. Maybe I really don't have a brain._

Beastboy, though, was not one to dwell on negative thoughts. Several minutes after leaving the tower, the light of his optimism finally broke through the clouds of self-deprecation. _Ok, I can totally do this. It's like I told Raven, I go in, get out, and head back to the Tower. No sweat. I mean, half the population of the world is female, so at least 50 percent of all people do this at some point, right? And it's probably even higher than that when you figure in husbands, fathers, and boyfriends. _Beastboy failed to mention bored, embarrassed, guilty, green, shape-shifting teenagers who are prone to speaking without thinking first, but he can be forgiven this oversight as it is really a very small demographic.

By the time Beastboy finally landed in the parking lot of the Jump City SuperStore, he was quite confident in his ability to complete his task with a minimum of embarrassment. Shifting back to his normal form, he entered the store, knowing exactly how he was going to accomplish his goal. _Just play it cool. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's no big deal. Just play it cool._

He nodded to the greeter at the door, and proceeded towards his goal without hesitation. He knew exactly where he was going. Any guy would know. Like a pit lined with spikes, you have to know where it is to be able to avoid it.

He walked down the main aisle at as normal a pace as he could muster, occasionally acknowledging a passing fan who recognized him. _Just play it cool. _It was the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, so even though he did see quite a few people, it was not nearly as busy as it could have been. He was just glad that this didn't happen on a Saturday.

Finally, he arrived at the aisle. Rather than immediately turn, he walked by with no indication that it even existed, except for a quick peek to make sure it was empty. Fortunately for him, it was. Beastboy grinned. _This must be my lucky day. _He walked by a few more aisles before finally turning, intent on circling back and entering the aisle he needed from the less visible side. _Just play it cool._ He was almost to his destination, content in the knowledge that the first part of this ordeal was almost over. After this, he just had to survive the check-out line.

Beastboy turned onto the dreaded aisle, and stopped dead in his tracks. He stood there, gaping. Perusing the assorted boxes and packages on the aisle there were no less than five women of various ages. After approximately 2 seconds, the closest woman glanced up at him. He immediately spun on his heel and moved a few aisles over, hoping that she would just assume he inadvertently turned too soon.

_What the hell? Like 10 seconds ago it was empty, and now they're holding a frickin' convention! _He paced to the end of the aisle he was on and back, trying to calm himself. _Ok, Beastboy, get a grip. They aren't going to be there long. Just wait for it to empty out, then go grab what you need. Play it coo..._

"Can I help you, sir?"

"AAAHHH!" Beastboy spun around, hand clutched to his chest. In front of him was a tall, thin man with dark brown hair and a well trimmed goatee. He was recognizable as an employee from his blue vest, bright smile, and entirely too helpful demeanor.

Beastboy dropped his hand from his chest, though he was still breathing heavily. "Duuuude, you scared the crap out of me!"

The employee, whose name tag read "Doug", just continued to smile happily. "Oh, I'm very sorry about that, sir. I was just wondering if there was something I could help you with."

_Just play it cool._ "Uh, no. No thanks. I'm good."

Unfortunately, as is always the case with the overly helpful employee, Doug was not to be dissuaded quite so easily. "Are you sure? I saw you wandering around a bit. Is there something I could help you find?"

"NO!" Beastboy noticed the surprised look on the employees face, and realized his response may have been a bit too emphatic. "I mean, no. I, um, I'm sure I can find it myself."

Doug's smile was back. "Well, sir, I know this department very well and I am sure I could point you right to whatever you need. What is it that you are looking for?"

Beastboy did his best to fight down a blush. "Um, n-nothing. Wait! I mean, not nothing. Of course I came here for something. Hehe, why else would I be here, right?"

Amazingly, Doug's smile grew even wider and he gave a very obnoxious laugh. "Well, isn't this just a match made in heaven? You came here for something, and I can tell you where it is. So, what can I help you find?"

_Geez, this guy just doesn't give up. _"Um, nothing. I, uh, I already found it. Yeah, that's it. I don't need help with anything because I already found what I was looking for. It's, um, that, right there." Beastboy pointed randomly to a shelf behind him, his finger hitting glass.

Doug, though, made no move to leave. "Ah, the Uberclip 5000 Super Special Deluxe Professional Edition Heavy Duty Nose Hair Trimmer! You have excellent taste, sir." He glanced around before leaning forward and, in a conspiratorial whisper, saying "That's the same one I use. It's the only thing I've found that can keep me from looking like I have spiders trying to crawl out my nose."

Beastboy jerked his head around, and indeed found he was pointing into a glass case of various grooming devices, the Uberclip 5000 Super Special Deluxe Professional Edition Heavy Duty Nose Hair Trimmer among them. _Nose hair trimmer? _He turned back around to face Doug, eyes glancing down to the employees nostrils. _Eeww. What is this, too much information day?_ "Um, yep, that's what I came for. The, um, gooberchip 2000, uh, deluxe super, um, sexy, nose hair trimmer thingy. Gotta keep my nose from bein' all hairy and stuff. Only reason I came today, don't need anything else. So, um, thanks for your help and all, but I'm done with my shopping."

Doug started fishing around in his pockets. "Great! Let me just get that out of the case for you."

Beastboy waited as patiently as he could while Doug found the key, removed the box, and then relocked the case. _Ok, Beastboy, just take the stupid thing. You can get rid of this dude, lay it down somewhere and come back for the other stuff. _Once Doug had double-checked the lock, Beastboy reached for the package only to have Doug jerk it away, clutching it protectively to his chest.

"I'm sorry, sir, but items from the case must be taken to the register by an employee."

Beastboy almost growled in frustration. "What? Why?"

Doug's smile started to falter just a little bit. "I'm sorry, sir, but it's in the official Jump City SuperStore employee handbook. 'Due to the value and popularity of certain items, they must be kept locked in the cases, and only removed by an employee. If a customer wishes to purchase said item, then an employee must escort the item to the register with the customer.' I'm sorry, but I have to carry it for you. If you have remembered some other item you need, I will be happy to accompany you around the store until you are ready to check out."

Beastboy could not believe what he was hearing. It was positively absurd. _How can a stupid nose hair trimmer be a valuable and popular item? How can this guy think I even want it, much less want to steal it. Does he even realize I am a Titan?_ Beastboy put on his most charming smile. "Um, look, I don't know if you recognize me, but I'm Beastboy." He quickly changed to a monkey, then to a turtle, then a bird. Doug did not look impressed, but Beastboy continued. "From the Teen Titans. You know, the good guys. We fight crime, save the day, that kinda stuff. Do you think there is any chance you could make an exception, just this once?"

Doug's eyes narrowed suspiciously and his smile completely disappeared. For the first time in the conversation his tone became something less than friendly. "I am sorry, **sir**, but it's in the official handbook. No exceptions can be made."

"But, just this once-"

"**No exceptions can be made**."

"But-"

"**NO exceptions**."

Beastboy just stared at him, noting the self-righteous defiance on Doug's face. Finally, he gave a weary sigh, knowing he was defeated. "Fine. Let's go."

And happy Doug was back, cheerfully leading Beastboy to the check-out line.

* * *

Back at the tower, Raven was pacing around her room. Shortly after he left she began to have second thoughts about her decision to allow Beastboy to go to the store for her. _Does he know where to find the aisle? Will he get the right kind? I hope he doesn't embarrass himself too badly. _

As she reached the wall that marked the furthest boundary of her pacing, she turned to go back the other way, and noticed her bed encased in darkness, floating several feet off the ground. _What is wrong with you today, Raven? First blushing and stuttering, now this? You seriously need to get a handle on your emotions._

From the back of her mind, that same small voice came once again. _You're just worried about Beastboy. There is nothing wrong with that._

Raven refused to think about the implications of that. _That's stupid. I don't do worry. It's only because I am on my period. I just need to meditate._

With that decided, she pulled her legs up under her and hovered in the air. Just before she began to chant her long-familiar mantra, a single thought flitted through her mind. _Besides, he's probably on his way back already._

* * *

_Oh yeah, BB, that's exactly what "play it cool" means. Just look it up, it will say "Avoid the embarassing aisle when it's empty, go to it when it's full, and freak out so much when an annoying employee starts talking to you that you end up blowing fifty bucks on nose hair trimmers". Yeah, that was icy cool. And to think I was complaining about being bored earlier. _

Beastboy was slumped on a bench on the sidewalk in front of the Jump City SuperStore, arms crossed across his body, glaring venomously at the nose hair trimmers in their package next to him. While several citizens walking by gave curious glances at the impromptu staring contest between the Titan and the plastic-enclosed electrical device, none chose to inquire about it.

Beastboy couldn't quite figure out exactly where he had gone wrong. It should have been simple. Go in, grab it, leave. Apparently it was a lot trickier than that. Obviously, he needed a plan a bit more comprehensive than "play it cool". But unfortunately for the hapless animorph, planning was not his strong suit. That was more Robin's thing. Nobody could obsess over ever last tiny little obscure detail like the Boy Wonder.

_Ok, Beastboy, you gotta think like Robin. Think like Robin. 'I'm Robin. I'm the Boy Wonder. I was trained by Batman, so I know what's best for the team and everyone on it. Everyone should always do exactly what I say. I'm an anal, obsessive-compulsive brat with a stick shoved so far up my ass that I get splinters in my brain. I'm totally in love with Starfire, but no one can tell even though I am totally obvious about it. And it's a good thing I'm obvious about her, or else people might began to question my sexual orientation because of my total preoccupation with all things Slade."_

Once Beastboy had achieved the proper frame of mind, he began to think back on the countless hours he had spent in training and planning sessions. Slowly, miraculously, he started to remember some of what he had been taught. Robin was always harping about proper intelligence of the area before any mission, so Beastboy knew he would need to do some recon. He needed to know the lay of the land, exactly where his objective was, all access points, where his allies, enemies, and all civilians were, and the fastest escape route, plus several back-up routes. Once he had all that information, then he could formulate a real plan. First thing first, though. You have to know your objective. He discreetly pulled the piece of cardboard that Raven had given him from his pocket and studied it carefully, fixing in his mind exactly what he was after. Once he was sure he knew what he needed, he slipped it back into his pocket and began walking towards the automatic doors.

With his confidence renewed, Beastboy re-entered the store. He once again exchanged pleasantries with the greeter at the door (who looked a little confused to see him again so soon) before asking the elderly gentleman for a favor. "Hey, would you mind keeping an eye on my bag? I forgot something else that I need."

The man smiled as he replied, "Of course. I'll just keep it here until you are ready to leave."

Beastboy thanked the man, and then shocked him by vanishing before his very eyes. The man, like any citizen of Jump City confronted with a Titan doing something amazing, recovered quickly with a simple shake of his head and a small grin.

Of course, Beastboy hadn't actually vanished. It just appeared that way. In truth, if the man had been a little more observant he would have noticed a tiny, green fly buzzing into the air, heading in the direction of the registers.

Beastboy did a quick fly-by of all the check-out lines before determining that the express lanes would definitely be the fastest way to get out of the store, even if they were a little further from the exit. That settled, he carefully traced the quickest route from the registers to the department containing his objective, making sure to take note of high traffic areas he would want to avoid. As he arrived at the proper department, he slowly scanned the area, looking for any signs of meddlesome employees. Once he was absolutely sure that there was no sign of his newest nemesis, the blue vested menace known only as Doug, he finally descended to the aisle that was his ultimate goal.

And stopped short in stunned disbelief.

_Oh... my... God... there are so many. _He had been on the aisle briefly earlier, but at that point he had been more concerned with the people, not the packages. His multifaceted jade eyes tried to process all that he was seeing. _Look at all the boxes. So many different boxes. She said there were kinds, but this is just... No! Don't think about it. Focus. Just find what I need._

He slowly flew down the aisle, looking for the box that matched the piece given him. But try as he might, he couldn't help but notice what he was reading. _Wings? What the hell do they need wings for? And why are the labeled light and heavy? What difference does weight make? And what... NO! Stop thinking about it. Don't read, just look for the match. Just look for... wait! There it is! That's what I need!_

The little fly did a loop of joy. He had found it! He was almost done! Just change, grab the box, and make a run for it! _Whoa, slow down BB. Don't get sloppy now. Check the area again first. _He ascended above the level of the aisles once again and did a slow circuit of the department. No sign of any employees and very few customers. It looked like he was in the clear. Beastboy flew down right in front of the shelf he needed. Taking one last glance around, and a deep breath, he changed back to his human form. Still no sign of anyone else. With a gulp, he carefully wiped his sweaty palms onto his pants to dry them off and darted another quick look over his shoulder. Still empty. He slowly extended his arm, fingers within inches of the box. He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he could actually go through with this. _But I have to. I promised Raven._ Steeling his resolve and forcing himself not to look around once again, he finally lowered his hand onto the box and struggled to make his fingers grasp it. Fighting against his natural inclination to drop the box and run screaming from the store, he lifted it from the shelf and held it in front of him. Taking another deep breath, he squeezed his eyes shut and turned slowly around, just knowing that if he opened his eyes he would see someone staring at him in shock. Millimeter by millimeter, he laboriously cracked open one eye. And there, standing in front of him, pointing and staring and laughing was . . .

No one. Nobody was there. No employees, no customers, no camera crews broadcasting this on live television. His other eye sprang open and he jerked his head from side to side. Still nothing. A small grin lit his face. He was almost done. He just had to get to the register, and then deal with a single cashier. Only one person left to deal with and he could go home and end this nightmare, to never again badmouth boredom.

Beastboy pressed the front of the box against the side of his leg, using his palm and splayed fingers to cover up the back. No one would be able to tell what it was with just a passing glance. _And I don't plan on being here long enough to give anyone more than a passing glance._ Eager to be off this particular aisle, and hopeful that he would never again have to return, Beastboy started walking as quickly as he possibly could without drawing undue suspicion. He kept his head down to avoid eye contact. Once he reached the end of the row he turned onto the main aisle that would lead to the registers...

...and ran headlong into two teenage boys heading the opposite direction. Since Beastboy was walking so quickly, and since none of the three boys had been paying particularly close attention to where they were going, the collision sent all three to the floor. And, even worse, it sent the item in Beastboy's hand spinning across the tile to come to rest below the lowest shelf of the display on the end of the aisle, only one corner of the box sticking out.

"What the...! Why don't you watch where the hell you're going, you stupid..." The tone of the boy's voice went from irate to pleasantly surprised as he recognized just who had barreled into him and his friend. "Hey! You're Beastboy!" The boy stood up and offered a hand to Beastboy. He was extremely skinny and very tall, much taller than Beastboy. He had short, sandy hair and a face covered in freckles.

Beastboy tried to keep the annoyance from his voice as he took the proffered hand and stood. "Uh, yeah. That's me. Nice to meet a fan, but I'm kinda in a hurry, so if you don't mind..." Beastboy glanced around, looking for the box he had dropped. There was no way he was going to go back for another one. After a few seconds he spotted the corner sticking out from under the shelf, but the couldn't see a way to retrieve it without drawing attention to himself.

The tall boy didn't seem to hear Beatboy as he turned to his friend, who was wiping the dirt off his clothes. "Hey, Derrick, look! It's Beastboy. From the Titans."

Derrick did not look up at either Beastboy or his friend, continuing to dust off his clothes as he replied. "Gee, Jason, you think? Are you sure it couldn't be some other green skinned, green haired teenager with pointed ears and fangs?"

Jason looked carefully at Beastboy, as if trying to convince himself he wasn't an impostor, before replying. "No, Derrick, I'm almost sure it's him!"

Derrick finally looked up at his friend, obvious incredulity on his face. "Dude, of course it's him, I was just... You know what? Never mind." Derrick was not as tall as Jason, and had a very athletic build. His black hair hung almost to his shoulders.

Derrick turned to Beastboy, extending his hand in greeting. "Hi. Nice to meet you. Just ignore Jason, it's what I usually do."

Beastboy shook the boy's hand as he replied, "Uh, yeah. Well, sorry about running into you guys. I'm kind of in a hurry and wasn't watching where I was going."

"No worries, dude. No harm, no foul, right? We won't keep you. Jason, grab that box for him and we'll let him get back to his superhero stuff."

Beastboy's eyes widened. "NO! Don't worry, I can get..."

But Jason, apparently accustomed to following Derrick's orders quickly and without question, had already located the box and reached down to pick it up. As soon as he saw what he was holding, though, he gave a high-pitched yelp, dropped the box, and quickly retreated behind his friend.

The dropped box landed face up, clearly displaying the product name to everyone. All three teenagers stared silently at the box, Jason in fear, Beastboy in embarrassment, and Derrick with no expression at all. For several seconds no one said anything.

And then Derrick burst out in loud, uncontrollable laughter.

Beastboy's shoulders and ears slumped, and he could feel his face begin to heat up. Jason, apparently recovered from his shock, took his cue from Derrick and also erupted into loud laughter.

Beastboy snatched the box from the ground, and tried to speak over the laughter. "Hey, they're not for me. I'm getting them for someone else."

This just caused Derrick and Jason to laugh harder, which in turn caused Beastboy to blush even more. After several seconds, and no indication that the two were going to stop anytime soon, Beastboy turned and started to walk away. Before he could escape, though, Derrick grabbed his arm and stopped him. Finally mastering his laughter, though still grinning widely, Derrick spoke. "Aw, c'mon man, don't get all pissed off. Of course they're not for you."

The Titan eyed Derrick warily, trying to determine if he was still being made fun of. Derrick continued, "They're obviously for a girl, right?"

Beastboy just nodded.

"So," Derrick asked with a smirk on his face, "is she pretty?"

Beastboy's eyes glazed over as an image of Raven appeared in his head. Without even realizing it, he responded to the question. "She's beautiful."

This answer was enough to send Derrick (and, therefore, Jason) into another bout of laughter. Beastboy shook his head to clear his thoughts and once again blushed as he realized exactly what he had just said, and about who. Jerking his arm away from Derrick, he finally demanded, "What's so funny?"

After a few moments, Derrick was composed enough to respond. "You are, man. I mean, look at you. You're a Teen Titan. You're a super hero, but you're still totally whipped!" At this pronouncement, Jason jerked his arm down in a whip crack motion, while doing his best imitation of the sound. This was unmistakably Jason's agreement with Derrick's assessment.

Beastboy, however, stiffened at the comment, free hand clenched into a fist at his side, and ground out through gritted teeth, "It's not like that!"

Derrick gave him a look that obviously said he didn't believe him. He raised his hands in a placating gesture and, still chuckling, replied "Hey, c'mon, it's no big deal. At some point in every guy's life they date a chick that has them totally whipped." Jason performed the whip crack again as Derrick continued, "I mean, not me of course. But most guys. I was just surprised. I didn't even know you had a girlfriend. I figured the media would have been all over that."

Beastboy forced himself to reply in a calm voice. "There's nothing to be all over. I told you, it's not like that. I don't have a girlfriend. These," Beastboy held up the box, "are for a friend. **Not** a girlfriend."

Derrick looked stunned. "You mean, you're buying these for a girl you're not even dating?"

Beastboy nodded. "That's right."

A broad smile formed on Derrick's face as he pointed accusingly at Beastboy. "You're even more whipped than I thought!" And Jason cracked his imaginary whip once again. It was his only contribution to the conversation, and, quite frankly, it was beginning to annoy the hell out of Beastboy.

Derrick continued in a cocky, self-assured voice. "Look, Beastboy, it doesn't matter how much you like this girl, if she's got you doing this kinda of stuff before you even get her to go out with you, then there will be absolutely no hope once you start dating her. Trust me, I know exactly how to keep the ladies in line."

Beastboy's eyes widened in shock. _Like her? Raven? Me and Raven dating? That's just crazy! That would never work. Would it?_ "I told you, it's not like that. We're just friends."

"Yeah, right. So, if she's not your girlfriend, and you're not interested in her, then how exactly did she get you to come to the store for her. What, did you she just call you up on the phone and ask nicely?"

Beastboy started to look a bit nervous. He knew where this was going, but was afraid that not answering would be even worse that the truth. "Uh, no. Actually, I, uh, I kinda volunteered."

They started laughing again, and Derrick choked out, "Yep. Totally whipped." And Jason did the whip crack as best he could through his laughter.

Beastboy was about to transform into a green gorilla so he could rip Jason's arms off and beat Derrick to death with them, but he was unfortunately interrupted by a voice from behind.

"What's going on?"

Beastboy turned to see a teenage girl, about the same age as the rest of them. She was even shorter than Beastboy, and very pretty with dark brown shoulder length hair and bright blue eyes. She was watching the three of them curiously, eyes darting back and forth between the two laughing teens and the Titan holding a box of tampons.

Before Beastboy could respond, Derrick spoke up while moving to stand next to her. "Katie! You have to hear this." And he began retelling the whole mortifying experience.

Beastboy didn't know what to do. Beating him to death with Jason's arms was obviously out of the question. He couldn't do it with a witness present, especially not one who knew the two boys and, based on her proximity to Derrick and the fact they were holding hands, was dating one of them. Katie listened attentively to the story, glancing alternately between Derrick and Beastboy.

Derrick was just finishing up, a huge smile still planted on his face. "...and then he said he **volunteered**! Which of course made us laugh even more. And then you came up."

Katie's expression was strangely blank as she turned to Beastboy. "So, is that right?"

There was really no point in Beastboy denying it, so he just nodded sheepishly.

But she evidently wanted a bit more clarification. "So, this friend of your's was probably not feeling well, huh?"

Beastboy gave another quick nod while Derrick and Jason watched the interrogation curiously.

"And she was going to go to the store, but you offered to go for her, right?"

Beastboy nodded again.

Katie looked thoughtful. "So, did you offer before or after you knew she needed tampons?" Katie did not appear to be at all embarrassed by the subject of the conversation, or the fact that she was having it with three guys.

"Um, both, kinda." Beastboy noticed the slightly confused look on her face, and so expounded on his answer. "I offered at first thinking she just wanted tylenol or something. She said no, but I kept bugging her, and it kinda just came out that she needed, uh, these." Beastboy held the box up before continuing. "I was all embarrassed, and so was she, and it was going to be all awkward and stuff. So I offered again anyways. She still said no, but I convinced her, and so here I am."

Katie then turned to Derrick. "And you two decided to give him a hard time about 'being whipped'?" At the word whipped Jason pulled his arm back once again, but Katie stopped the annoying gesture with a look.

"Aw, c'mon Katie, we were just having fun with him," Derrick answered. "You understand, don't you?"

Katie was silent a moment before replying. "Yes, I think I do." She turned and looked Beastboy directly in the eyes. "I understand completely." And then she turned back to Derrick.

And slapped him across the face.

Hard.

It would be difficult to say who was more shocked by this. All three boys gaped in open amazement, very similar expressions on their faces (except for the burning red handprint on Derrick's). Katie just stared at him, eyes blazing in fury, her voice nothing but an angry hiss. "I understand that you got the chance to meet one of the Teen Titans. One of the heroes of Jump City. One of the people who saved your parent's lives last year." She was punctuating every sentence with a sharp poke to his chest. At this point Jason had recovered enough to cower behind Beastboy, who was still staring in stupefaction as she continued. "And what do you do with this opportunity. Do you show your gratitude that your parent's are still alive? Do you ask for an autograph? No, you just decide to act like a total asshole!"

During the whole time Derrick had been teasing Beastboy, there had been a certain confident tone in his voice, one that said he was in control of the situation and knew it. That tone was completely gone, replaced by a very timid, almost whiny voice. "Aw, c'mon, Katie. We were just messin' with him. And you didn't have to hit me. That hurt. I mean, what the fu-"

Before Derrick could finish his thought, Katie swung around with her other hand, slapping him just as hard on the other cheek. Beastboy, finally beginning to recover from his initial surprise, just stared at the two in astonishment. The second slap had brought a nice symmetry to Derrick's face. But he didn't dwell on these thoughts for long, not wanting to miss Derrick being scolded by Katie.

"Don't swear. You know I don't like it when you swear." Derrick just stared at his feet while massaging his face with both hands. Katie continued, "Now apologize."

Derrick looked up just long enough for a mumbled, "Sorry." Katie glanced at Jason, who began apologizing profusely, first to Beastboy, then to Katie, then Derrick. He would have most likely continued until he had apologized to everyone in the store if Katie had not given a slight shake of her head.

Turning to Beastboy, she smiled brightly and spoke very cheerfully, quite as if she hadn't just smacked the hell out of her boyfriend. "Sorry about that. Derrick can be a real jerk. I don't know why I put up with him sometimes." If she was bothered by the fact that Derrick was standing right next to her and could quite easily hear every word she was saying, it didn't show. But neither did Derrick make any attempt to defend himself. "You shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this after you risk your life to save the city pretty much every day."

"Yeah, well, it kinda comes with the job," Beastboy replied, still a bit taken aback by the actions of the girl. She had gone from friendly to scary and back again in less than 30 seconds. Beastboy idly wondered if she was always this moody or if perhaps it was "that time of the month" for her as well. He very wisely did not voice his thoughts.

"Well it shouldn't. You guys are awesome," she said with a wink.

"Uh, thanks." Was the crazy chick flirting with him in front of her own boyfriend?

Not particularly wanting to stick around and find out, Beastboy decided to point out that he still had a task to finish. Holding up the box, he said, "I better be getting back. I've already been gone longer than I thought I would. It was nice meeting you." And he started to walk away.

Just as he was passing Katie, she placed a hand on his arm, leaned towards him, and whispered, "Is she really just a friend?"

Beastboy paused for a second before replying. "Yeah, she really is just a friend."

"And that's all she is to you?"

This time Beastboy flushed. "I, uh, I never really thought of her as anything else before."

Obviously picking up on the flush and the wording of his response, Katie asked, "And now?"

Beastboy thought about it for a moment before answering, face flushing a bit more. "Now I don't know."

Katie smiled. "I understand. But if you happen to figure out that you don't think of her as anything more than a friend," Katie leaned up on her toes, very close to Beastboy, putting her mouth right next to his ear and speaking in a low, throaty voice that sent shivers up his spine, "then look me up."

Turning to Derrick and Jason, she said, "C'mon, we're going to shoes." The two of them followed her meekly towards the back of the store. Katie looked over her shoulder for one last smile at Beastboy. Derrick looked back to glare. Beastboy smiled and raised his hand as if to wave. But he didn't wave. No, instead he took a page from Jason's book and did his very own whip crack at Derrick. The poor teen just turned back around and followed his girlfriend.

* * *

"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Raven finally felt like she had reined in her rogue emotions and lowered her feet back to the floor. It was always harder to maintain control during her period. Glancing over at the clock, she was a little surprised to see that over an hour had passed. _Is Beastboy not back yet?_ Suddenly deciding that a cup of tea sounded very nice, she walked to the kitchen to make it. Of course, the fact that this took her past Beastboy's bedroom door and through the living room made absolutely no difference to her. She barely even stopped to listen at his door or glanced for him in the living room. Actually, the fact that he wasn't home yet barely even registered.

As she waited for the tea kettle to come to a boil, she wondered idly at what might be keeping him. _He did just go to the SuperStore, right? That shouldn't take long. Of course, it is a superstore. Maybe he got sidetracked in the video game department._

Knowing that her male teammates could spend obscene amounts of time drooling over new games, and that there were no female teammates to drag him away, she finally reached the conclusion that he had just gotten distracted.

Once she arrived back in her room, she set her cup of tea on the table next to her bed and lay down. It wasn't often that the tower was empty, totally devoid of all extraneous noises and distractions. She decided to take advantage of the opportunity with a short nap. Surely Beastboy would be back by the time she woke up, right?

* * *

Shortly after parting ways with the three teenagers, Beastboy made it to the express checkout with no further incidents. Now that he thought about it, other than the one mishap of running into Derrick and Jason, his plan had worked flawlessly. The box was once again pressed against his leg, hand held over it to block the writing. He had walked quickly (but more cautiously) to the registers he had scoped out earlier. And now he was standing in the shortest line he could find, with only two groups in front of him. Currently at the front of the line was an elderly couple in the process of unloading their basket. They moved a little slowly, but Beastboy wasn't worried. They really didn't have much stuff. Directly in front of Beastboy was a young woman, not more than twenty-five years old, holding a hand basket with only a half dozen or so items. Next to her was a little boy, clutching at her skirt. It wouldn't be much longer before Beastboy was winging his way back to the tower. He was already contemplating what he would do upon his arrival there.

_Ok, first thing, take this to Raven. Wait, no. First thing is hide those stupid nose hair trimmers so no one sees them. I can bring them back tomorrow and get a refund. Then the delivery to Raven. Then find something to eat. Maybe some tofu waffles. Or maybe-_

Beastboy's planning was interrupted by a slight tug at his hand. He looked down and saw the little boy who had been standing in front of him. The woman was beginning to unload her items onto the conveyor belt.

Once the child had Beastboy's attention, he spoke. "You're Beastboy, huh? You're a Titan. I like the Titans. You're my second favorite. Robin's my favorite, 'cause he wears a mask. But you turn into animals. So you're my second favorite, behind Robin."

Beastboy smiled and crouched down. The child spoke softly, and mumbled a little, but Beastboy was able to catch the gist of what he was saying. "Yep, I'm Beastboy. What's your name?"

"I'm Michael. I'm here with my mommy. Her name is mommy. I didn't want to come to the store but now I'm glad I did."

Beastboy liked talking to kids. They were always so honest. It was refreshing. "So, how old are you?"

"I'm 4. I'm gonna be a superhero when I grow up."

Beastboy chuckled at this. "Oh, really? And what's your superpower?" It was always good to humor kids, sometimes they really believed they had a power.

"I don't have one. But that's why I like Robin, 'cause he wears a mask and doesn't have powers but fights bad guys anyways and still..."

The child was interrupted by his mother. "Michael, are you bothering people again?" She looked apologetically at Beastboy, "I'm sorry if he was a nuisance, but he really does love the Titans."

Beastboy stood back up to speak to the mother. He didn't notice that the box was no longer held against his leg, or that Michael was trying to see what a Titan came to the store for. "It's no bother. Always nice to meet the kids."

The young woman smiled, opening her mouth to say something else. But before she could, Beastboy felt a slight pressure on his hand as Michael raised it up, saying "Look mommy! Beastboy is buying the same thing you are! Does that mean you're a hero too?"

Both the green boy and the young woman froze, staring wordlessly at the box held in Beastboy's hand between them. Suddenly it was as if they were being controlled by the same mind. They both looked at the box. They looked up and met each other's eyes, before they both flushed and looked down. When each thought the other wasn't looking, their eyes went to the conveyor belt where there was an identical box as the one in Beastboy's hand. Then their eyes met again, and the connection broke. The young woman spun around to face the front of the store, grabbing her son by the arm and pulling him next to her. Beastboy jerked his arm down and pinned the box back against his leg, while trying his very best to turn invisible. It didn't work.

After a few excruciatingly awkward minutes, the mother and son had paid and were on their way out of the store. Michael turned to wave at Beastboy, who reluctantly waved back. The boy's mother never even glanced in his direction. Beastboy was not offended.

A short clearing of the throat reminded Beastboy that it was now his turn in line. He turned to face the cashier and saw an older woman, probably in her fifties, smiling at him. "Hello, sir, I can help you now."

He slowly stepped up in line, praying that the woman would not do or say anything to embarrass him as he reached out and placed the box on the counter. Fortunately for Beastboy, the woman had been a cashier for many years, and hardly even glanced at what she was scanning as she spoke, "Did you find everything alright today?" She slid the box across the scanner again.

Beastboy kept his eyes on the counter top as he replied. "Um, yeah, I did."

"That's good." Twice more she slid the box across the scanner, with no result. She picked up the box, adjusted her glasses, and squinted to try and see the numbers so she could type in the UPC manually.

Beastboy watched her nervously. _Please don't ask for a price check. ANYTHING would be better than that. Please be able to read the numbers. Please don't ask for a price check._

Finally, she laid the box back on the counter and looked at Beast Boy. "The numbers are a bit scratched up, I can't quite read them, so it will be just a moment while I get a price check."

Beastboy could not believe what he was hearing. This kind of thing did not happen in real life. Embarrassing price checks only happened on t.v., right? Time seemed to slow down as he watched her reach for the phone next to her register. He could only stare while she lifted the receiver and put it to her ear. As her finger descended on the button that would broadcast her voice, and his embarrassment, across the entire store, something snapped in his mind.

"NO!" Beastboy lunged across the counter and snatched the receiver from the woman's hands. In his desire to get it from her, he pulled it back as far as the cord would reach and held it away from her in one hand. Glancing around to make sure no one else was close enough to hear him he spoke in a furious whisper, "NO! You can't do this to me. I have been blushing almost since I woke up! You can't embarrass me with a price check on TAMPONS!"

Unfortunately for our pitiable hero, though, was the fact that he didn't quite realize that by holding the phone at cords length in one hand away from the cashier he was actually holding it very near his own mouth. Nor did his flustered mind seem to comprehend that the receiver was picking up his words or that the voice he heard, but ignored, over the speakers was his own.

The cashier quickly realized what was going on, and tried to pacify the changeling. "Sir, the phone..."

"No!" Beastboy continued in his loud whisper, phone still near his mouth. "I don't care if you have been a cashier for a bazillion years and stuff like this doesn't bother you." The cashier's eyes widened at the unsolicited insult. Her sudden attempts at informing the young man of what was happening ceased, and she simply leaned against her register and listened to what he had to say. "I don't care if it's against 'official store policy'-"

* * *

Back in the employee break room, Doug was getting ready to eat his vending machine lunch. His blue vest was slung across the back of his chair, the helpful smile that had been visible earlier out on the floor totally non-existent. He stared at the cold burrito and the warm soda in front of him with disgust. _God, how I hate my job. _Today had been more unbearable than normal. His manager had warned him that if there was one more customer complaint or policy violation, he would be fired. He may hate his job, but he still needed to pay the bills. So, all day he had been revoltingly nice and helpful to customers. He wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

With a crackling sound, the speaker in the ceiling came on. Doug had long ago learned to tune out the sound. Listening to what they said generally just meant more work. If someone wanted him to do something, they could damn well come and tell him to his face. Then he would do it if he felt like it. That was his personal policy and he rarely violated it.

There are, however, certain words that command attention, especially when spoken over so public a medium as the PA system. It just so happened that Doug caught one of those words now.

"...Tampons!"

Doug paused in the midst of his bite of still frozen burrito to listen. Did he recognize that voice?

"...I don't care if you have been a cashier for a bazillion years and stuff like this doesn't bother you. I don't care if it's against 'official store policy' for a customer to touch the stupid phone. I will not let anyone else embarrass me today! I already had to fend off one stupid employee guy who wouldn't leave me alone. Do you know how? I had to spend fifty bucks on some frickin' nose hair trimmers!-"

Doug did recognize that voice. It was the green guy he had helped earlier, the one who had been intentionally difficult, the one Doug had thought might be a plant to try and get him fired. Putting the burrito down again, he simply listened to what was being said.

A genuine smile spread across his face, a very rare occurrence for the bitter employee, and it grew larger with every word spoken. _I do hate my job. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's definitely worth it._

* * *

But Doug was not the only person amused by another's misfortune. In the shoe department, at the far side of the store, three people were listening intently to the announcement. Katie had been trying on shoes when it had started, and now she sat there with a shoe half off one foot. Derrick and Jason stood off to one side, each holding a large stack of shoe boxes.

"...I had to spend fifty bucks on some frickin' nose hair trimmers! I'm a teenager. I don't have any nose hair! Up until a few years ago, I didn't even have any pubic hair!-"

At this both Derrick and Jason collapsed into a fit of hilarity. She tried to glare them into submission, but it didn't work when she couldn't even suppress her own giggles. She really just couldn't help it. _He is so adorably clueless!_

* * *

Out in the parking lot of the store, Jennifer was buckling her son Michael into his car seat. She had parked directly under one of the lights, which also happened to house one of the speakers for the store. Michael was fidgeting in his seat, but she didn't really notice. All the awkward nervousness she had felt earlier after being embarrassed in front of the Titan was now being expressed in laughter. A laughter that was further fueled by the voice coming from the speaker directly above her head.

"...I don't have any nose hair! Up until a few years ago, I didn't even have any pubic hair! But I bought it anyways to try to save myself some grief, and now you want to do a price check on tampons! I saw the price, they were 4.79. You can trust me, I swear. Look at me. I have green skin, I have green hair. I can change into any animal you name if you want me to. I'm Beastboy, of the Teen Titans. The heroes of the city, we live in a giant T on the bay-"

As the speech wore on, Jennifer was practically paralyzed with mirth. Poor Michael did not understand what was going on, and was starting to get upset. With a concerted effort, Jennifer pulled herself together, and finished buckling him in, soothing him as she did. As she closed his door and moved to the front seat to buckle herself in, only one thought ran through her mind. _It's nice to get out of the house sometimes._

* * *

"...The heroes of the city, we live in a giant T on the bay, we fight crime and the forces of evil and all that. You can trust me, the tampons are 4.79. There is absolutely no price check needed, do you understand! Just type in the amount and..."

Beastboy trailed off as the cashier howled in laughter. Was she laughing at him? Ok, so maybe he had gotten a bit hysterical, but it wasn't **that **funny, was it? Now that he had stopped talking, though, he heard other sounds. They were coming from all over the store, and they were all various flavors of laughter. He couldn't imagine what was so funny. He turned to ask the guy in line behind him, but had to look down where the man was rolling on the floor and clutching his sides. He glanced around the store, and everywhere he looked people were staring back at him, some laughing uproariously, others trying to chuckle behind their hands, others just giggling inanely. But they were all looking at him.

He looked down at himself, trying to find the source of amusement. That's when he saw the receiver held in his hand, as far from the cashier as the cord would allow, and very near to his own mouth. With a strangled "Eeek!" he finally realized exactly what had happened, and in a gesture very reminiscent of trying to plug holes in a boat that was already at the bottom of the ocean, he covered the mouthpiece with his free hand.

Beastboy had spent the greater part of his day blushing. But none of them compared to what was happening to him now. The blood suffused his skin in such great quantity that from head to toe his normal green skin began to appear a dark brown color.

He looked pitifully at the cashier. "I just?... and it was?... and they could?..." The cashier could only nod at him as she tried to catch her breath.

Beastboy looked around helplessly. His eyes landed on the phone in his hands once again. With a deep and weary sigh, he uncovered the mouthpiece and moved it close as he spoke words that rang out through the whole store and parking lot.

"Dr. Kevorkian to register 12, please. Dr. Kevorkian, register 12."


	3. Dangerous Minds

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans._

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 3: Dangerous Minds**

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..._

Sitting on a bench in a secluded section of Jump City Park, a teenager was slouched forward, elbows on his knees, forehead pounding into his open palms in time to the unusual litany running through his mind.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..._

The teenager's oddly pointed ears drooped low, his skin finally beginning to revert to it's normal green color.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..._

After the mortifying experience at the register, Beastboy had kept himself together long enough to complete his purchase. As soon as he had been handed a receipt and his bag (which was, thankfully, opaque brown paper) he fled from the store, pausing only long enough to mindlessly accept the package held out to him by the smirking man at the door. Once he made it to the parking lot, he had broken into a run. In his haste, his frazzled mind had not even thought to change into a fleet animal. He just ran as fast as he could in his human form to the nearby park, winding his way through the various paths until he found a relatively private area with a bench. There he sat, the two bags from the store silently mocking from their places next to him. He didn't even know how long he had been there. All he knew was the single thought that was continuously running through his head.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..._

It's unknowable how long he would have stayed there, berating himself, if left to his own devices, but he was saved from that fate by a quiet chiming noise emanating from his pocket. Of course, it took several seconds before the noise could penetrate his sullen shell of self-derision, but finally, he recognized the auditory sensation as the sound of his communicator. Shaking his head to clear it of his melancholy, he pulled the communicator from his pocket and activated it.

"Beastboy here."

Robin's face appeared on the tiny screen. "Beastboy, we've got trouble. Come to- Are you at the park?"

Beastboy glanced around as if to verify his location. "Oh, uh, yeah, I guess I am."

Robin's tone became slightly accusatory. "You were supposed to be keeping an eye on things at the tower."

"Well, I had to, uh, leave. I had to, um..." Beastboy racked his brain to come up with a plausible excuse. He certainly couldn't tell the truth. Robin and Cyborg would never let him hear the end of it. That's assuming, of course, that Raven didn't kill him first.

"You had to go to the park?" The disbelief was obvious.

"Well, you see..." _Think, Beastboy! Anything is less embarrassing than the truth! _"I had to pee!" The Titan's leader raised an eyebrow as Beastboy continued nervously. "Uh, yeah. It's kinda nice just to come out and hike a leg every now and then, you know?"

Robin seemed to be trying to decide whether or not the changeling was joking. Finally, he dismissed the matter with a quick shake of his head. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. We've got trouble at the Jump City Megaplex. Get here as fast as you can. I'll call Raven to meet us."

Before Robin could end the communication, Beastboy cried out, "Wait!" Robin looked at Beastboy questioningly, waiting for him to explain. "Don't call Raven. She's, uh, not feeling well. Do you think the three of us can handle it?"

The accusing tone returned to Robin's voice. "So you left Raven alone in the tower to keep an eye on things while she's sick? Real nice, Beastboy."

Beastboy could only gape at how patently unfair that was. _After everything I've just been through? _"Hey! You have no idea-"

But Robin cut him off before he could finish. "I think the three of us can handle it, just get here as quickly as you can. Robin out."

Beastboy stared at the dark screen of his communicator for a few seconds, cursing profusely at the spiky-haired Titan who could no longer hear him. After finally exhausting his extensive store of profanity, Beastboy slipped the communicator back into his pocket and turned to look at the bags on the bench, trying to decide what to do with them. He placed the brown paper sack into the white plastic bag, which had handles. _Well, I don't have time to drop them by the tower. And if I leave them here, someone might take them or something, and there is no way in hell I am going back to the store today. Or ever. I guess I have to take them with me. I just have to keep Robin and Starfire from seeing them. That shouldn't be too hard, right?_

With that thought, the eternally optimistic boy changed into a condor, his dour mood of just a few moments earlier thoroughly dispelled by the call to action. He picked the bags up in his talons and flew off in the direction of the Jump City Megaplex.

* * *

Raven lay on top of the covers of her bed, her torso rising and falling rhythmically in time with her slow breathing. The room was dark, with the only visible light that which managed to peek around the drawn curtains and the dim numbers of the alarm clock facing the bed from a small nightstand. Had anyone been brave (or stupid) enough to enter her room to observe the teen, they would have thought she was fast asleep. At least, they would have thought so until they saw her face. Her brow was deeply furrowed and her eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Despite having been in her bed for several minutes, Raven was very much awake.

_Ok, keep your eyes closed for just a few more seconds. By then, at least 10 minutes will have passed._

After maintaining her voluntary blindness for as long as possible she opened her eyes again to look at the clock. Only 2 minutes had passed. That was twice as long as she had managed the first 3 times, but the girl did not seem overly excited by the small improvement. Finally, with an angry sigh, she sat up and swung her feet to the floor.

_This is ridiculous. I have the tower completely to myself for the first time in who knows how long, and I can't even take a nap. What is wrong with me today?_

Raven reached for the cup of tea sitting on the table next to her alarm clock. Much to her annoyance, the tea was still quite hot. _I wasn't even lying there long enough for my tea to get cold. _Her agitation increased as she stared at the cup in her hands. _Stupid tea. As if I didn't already realize how pointless the last few minutes of my life have been. This is all Beastboy's fault. He manages to annoy me even when he's not here. _Raven's breath quickened as her unreasonable anger continued to grow. _Stupid little green bastard. Why isn't he back yet! I swear, when he gets here I will kill him. I will cause him unbearable agony for every second he has put me through this! _Her eyes started to glow red as assorted items around the room were floating, outlined in the dark nimbus of a furious demon's power. _And not just for this. For every time he has annoyed me, pestered me, made fun of me, and invaded my privacy I will inflict suffering the likes of which- _

It wasn't until the teacup shattered in her hands, the searing liquid scalding her and the jagged pieces drawing blood, that she even realized her grip had been tightening. The sudden shock of pain, however, was enough to clear her mind of the haze of unprovoked rage. The items all around dropped back into place and her eyes returned to their normal color.

_What the...? What just happened? I almost lost control. And why? Because my tea wasn't cold? Because Beastboy is doing me a favor? That does not make any sense. Something is wrong, and I don't think I can chalk this up to my period. _

After taking a moment to heal the burns and cuts on her hands, Raven turned and walked quickly to her dresser, picking up the ornate hand mirror that was there. Gazing deep into the depths of the mirror, it was only a matter of moments before a dark hand reached out and grabbed her, sucking her into a swirling vortex of red and black.

* * *

In only a few minutes of flying, Beastboy was soaring above the Jump City Megaplex, Jump City's largest and finest movie theater. With his keen eyesight, Beastboy could see a large mass of people crowded around the entrance in a semicircle. He quickly descended, morphing back into human form just as he landed in front of the crowd. A loud cheer went up as they recognized the new arrival. Beastboy turned and addressed the people closest to him, "Hey, what's going on?"

A young man was the first to answer. He was a few years older than Beastboy, probably in his late teens, and was wearing the uniform of a theater employee. "I don't know, man. It was weird. I was just working at the concession stand when all of the sudden stuff starts attacking everyone."

"What do you mean? What was attacking?"

The older teen just shrugged his shoulders as he replied, "All kinds of stuff. Cash registers, bags of candy, popcorn containers, movie posters, cardboard cutouts. I think I even saw a projector chasing someone."

It didn't take a genius to recognize that type of attack. Beastboy turned to look at the building while he continued his questioning. "Did you happen to see a fat geek with a remote control? Was anyone hurt? How did you all get out?"

The employee processed all the questions a moment before replying, doing his best to be helpful. "No, didn't see anyone like that. A few people were injured, but I didn't see anything too bad. There were a couple of Titans already in there, so they fought while we all got out. It was the cool masked dude, and the superhot redheaded chick. I haven't seen the buff metal dude or the creepy goth chick."

It took Beastboy a few seconds to realize exactly who he meant with his odd descriptions. After he had worked it out, he turned to the older boy with narrowed eyes and an unexpectedly threatening tone. "She's not creepy."

The boy was surprised, not anticipating any further conversation, or if there was, for it to be about the situation at hand. "What?"

Beastboy continued to glare at him. "Her name is Raven. And she is **not **creepy. Got it?"

The boy took a half step back from the furious look in the Titan's eyes, and he replied nervously. "Uh, right. Raven. Not creepy. Got it."

Beastboy nodded once and started towards the doors of the theater, only to realize he was still holding a bag containing two rather embarrassing items. He couldn't fight while holding it. It would hinder his morphing, not to mention be a little conspicuous. Robin would definitely want to know what was in the bag. He spun back to the crowd and faced the boy once more. "What do you call me?"

The poor teenager was once again taken by surprise. "Huh?"

"You obviously don't know any of our names. What do you call me."

The boy gulped loudly as he gazed around the other people in the crowd, apparently looking for some form of help. None came. The boy dropped his head as he mumbled. "Uh, I call you, I mean, my friends and I, we all call you, the, um, the little green guy."

Beastboy held out the bag to the tense boy. "Figures. Well, dude, you are going to hold this for me. I expect it, and you, to still be here when I get back. If you're not, then this 'little green guy' will hunt you down and make you wish you had been eaten by the popcorn. Understand?"

The boy's eyes had widened in shock as Beastboy spoke. It's not an everyday occurrence to be threatened by a shapeshifting, superhero guardian of your city, whom you have obviously offended at least twice. He reached out and grabbed the bag, cradling it gently at his chest. "Yes. Yes, sir. I understand completely. I will be right here. No need to worry about it."

"Good."

Beastboy ran into the building to help his friends fight off Control Freak's latest mischief.

* * *

Raven descended slowly into the shadowy darkness, her feet finally touching down gracefully onto the rocky path. She was still wearing her t-shirt and pajama pants, but, considering she was only going to meet up with her own emotions, she was not particularly concerned with her attire.

Raven began walking down the path. After a few minutes she saw a lone figure in the distance, just standing and watching. When she was close enough to make out a few details, she could see that the figure waiting on her wore a red cloak and had glowing red eyes. Rage.

Raven was confused. While she had known from her actions in her bedroom that Rage was acting up, she had expected to seek out the emotion in her own domain. Rage rarely left her corner of Raven's mind, and was supposed to be escorted by at least one other emotion when she did. There were no other emotions in sight.

Finally, Raven stopped in front of her red cloaked copy. She kept her tone even and neutral as she acknowledged the emotion with a nod. "Rage. What are you doing out here by yourself?"

Rage's voice was chipped ice. "Hello, bitch. I was doing my very best to take over your body."

Even though Trigon had been banished, Rage was still not content with simply being a facet of someone else's personality. She wanted complete control, the opportunity to be expressed continually and without restraint. Without the assistance of Trigon, this bordered on the impossible, but it didn't stop the spiteful emotion from trying.

Rage glowered as she continued speaking, "And I came very close, too. Next time I will make sure you're not holding something hot."

Raven knew that was true. Now she wanted to know why. "There won't be a next time. Where is everyone? Why is no one with you? And how did you come so close to taking over? That shouldn't be possible."

Rage sneered, "Not possible? It's inevitable. You are demon."

Raven chose not to reply to that, instead returning to her inquiries. "How did you get so close, and why now? Where are the other emotions? Why isn't one of them with you?"

A malicious smile spread across the emotion's face. "Strangely enough, the answer to all your questions is the same. But you will have to find out for yourself, I'm not about to help you."

Raven hadn't really expected any answers from Rage, so she wasn't surprised with the response. "Fine. I will find one of the others. But first, you go back to where you belong. Either you go yourself, or I send you. Which will it be?"

Rage glared balefully at Raven. "Fine. I'll go. For now. But there will come a day when rage shall consume you, and I will be free." Following her ominous prediction, Rage disappeared in a swirl of black energy.

Raven thought about what Rage had said. It was obvious that something unusual was going on with her emotions, and that whatever it was had distracted the others to the point that they were no longer keeping a watch on Rage. More importantly, Rage had somehow gained enough of a foothold to attempt a takeover, and had almost succeeded.

With a determined glint in her eye, Raven turned and began walking down the rocky path, intent on finding her other emotions and getting some answers.

* * *

The green elephant sat down, utterly squashing the malicious film projector. Shifting back to his human form, Beastboy stood up and looked around to find the next malevolent piece of movie house paraphernalia that would attack him. As he slowly surveyed the scene of a ransacked lobby, he realized that the onslaught was mostly over. Nearby, Robin was closely examining the remains of what used to be a movie poster. Starfire was behind the counter of the concession stand, blasting away with her starbolts, effectively subjugating the last pocket of resistance among the stubborn popcorn.

Beastboy walked over to Robin. "I think that's it. We totally kicked butt!"

The Boy Wonder finally stopped poking at the poster with his bo staff and turned to face the changeling. "Yeah, looks like it. Now we need to figure out who was behind it all."

The changeling just looked at his leader for a moment before replying. "Dude, I think it's pretty obvious who's behind this. Even to me."

Robin looked carefully at Beastboy. "You think so?"

"Totally, dude. I mean, who else could it be?"

Robin breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I thought so too. I just didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Now we have to figure out how he got a hold of one of Control Freak's remotes."

_Huh? Did I miss something?_ Beastboy was a little lost. "Uh, what do you mean?"

"Well, we both know who is behind this, right?" Beastboy could only nod as Robin continued. "So, first we need to find out how Slade got his hands on one of Control Freak's remotes. Did he somehow break into the tower last night, watch us while we slept, move things around in my room so I can't find them, and then go into the evidence room and steal the one we had confiscated? Or did he get one from somewhere else?"

Beastboy eyed the other boy warily, taking a half step back. _Does he honestly think...? _"Uh, Rob, you ever think that maybe this was actually Control Freak?"

Robin seemed to ponder that for a few moments, before snapping his fingers and exclaiming, "Of course! You are absolutely right, I should have thought of that myself." He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Beastboy. "You know, Beastboy, that's pretty good detective work. Maybe we should give you a little more credit sometimes."

Beastboy smiled at the rare praise. _Yeah, I knew they would figure out how smart I am eventually. It's just not an obvious kind of smart. Maybe now-_

Robin broke this train of thought as he continued. "So, Slade has a new apprentice, and this time he chose Control Freak. Slade must have used his secret satellite listening devices to hear Starfire and me plan our trip to the movies, and sent Control Freak to attack us. I never would have thought Slade would choose someone like him. That's what makes it so genius. No one would ever suspect. But you figured it out. Good work, Beastboy."

The green teen could only stand there gaping. Robin, deep in thought over this unexpected turn of events, didn't seem to notice. The silence was finally broken by the arrival of Starfire.

"Friends! I have emerged victorious over the evil armies of the popped corn!"

Robin turned to the Tameranian. "Starfire! We figured it out. Well, it was mostly Beastboy, but I helped a little. Slade has taken Control Freak as his new apprentice and sent him here to attack us."

Starfire glanced at Beastboy before looking nervously back at Robin. "You think that it is Slade who has attacked this theater of movies?"

Robin nodded as he replied. "Of course. Well, Control Freak, really, but at the orders of Slade."

"And it was friend Beastboy who suggested this?"

Robin nodded again. "Yep. Surprising, huh? I think he's smarter than he thinks we think he is."

If Starfire was as baffled by this last statement as Beastboy was, she gave no indication of it. She did, however, glare at Beastboy while she continued speaking to Robin. "I see. Robin, perhaps you should go and check the machine of the popped corn for possible clues."

"Great idea, Star." Robin happily bounded over to the popcorn machine. He leaned over so his face was mere millimeters from the popcorn and started poking at it with a birdarang.

Starfire never broke her gaze from Beastboy. "Beastboy, you have put the idea of Slade into Robin's head once more."

Beastboy could see the telltale green glow beginning to form in Starfire's eyes, a precursor to her fury. He tried to explain himself, but the alien did not give him a chance.

"Robin is not himself when Slade is concerned. It was unkind of you to say such outlandish things. Perhaps you thought it was a practical joke, yes?" The green glow was now shining brightly from her eyes, and had started forming at her hands as well. "Perhaps you think it is funny to see Robin act in a manner that is very much un-Robinlike? Perhaps you did not learn your lesson the last time you behaved in the manner of a chlorbag? Perhaps you should run and hope that you are faster than me."

The glow from her hands and eyes was now almost blindingly bright. Beastboy, seeing how angry she was, and hearing a threat from the usually cheerful and friendly girl, did the only thing he could think of. He fell to his knees, raised his hands in supplication, and begged. "NO! Star, I swear, it wasn't me. It's just, Rob was all like 'its obvious, huh' and I was like 'yeah' and he was all 'it must be Slade' and I was all 'no way dude, it's Control Freak' and he came totally out of nowhere with 'good idea, they must be working together' and I was like, stunned and couldn't say anything, and then you came up and he told you everything and you got all glowy and mad and please don't kill me I'm too young to die!" After this amazing display of lung capacity, Beastboy squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the killing blow.

When he was still alive a few seconds later, he determined that perhaps she was not going to end his life today. He glanced up to see Starfire looking at Robin with a concerned expression, her eyes and hands no longer glowing. Beastboy lowered his hands and slowly stood. Starfire turned to him worriedly. "I am most apologetic, friend Beastboy. I should not have thought the worst of you. I am just concerned for Robin. Dr. Samuels says that incidents such as these are very detrimental to his therapy. I shall have to call and inform the doctor before his session tomorrow."

Just then Robin walked back over, carrying a small, sealed, plastic bag of popcorn. "You were right Star. There was something strange with the popcorn. It was covered in this greasy yellow stuff. There was also a light scattering of white crystals. I'm going to take a sample back to the tower to analyze. Maybe it will give us a lead as to where we can find Slade and Control Freak. Why don't you go tell the manager that it's safe in here again, and then we can go."

There was obvious disappointment on the girl's face. "But Robin, are we not to view the comedy of romance as planned?"

"I'm afraid not. We need to move on this while the lead is fresh. You never know where Slade will have Control Freak attack next."

Beastboy watched as Starfire's shoulders slumped and she sadly floated towards the front doors to inform everyone that the theater was safe again. _Dude, I hate seeing her so sad. It's just weird. And if they go back to the Tower now, then there is no way I will be able to sneak in and deliver the stuff to Raven without them finding out. But maybe..._

Beatboy turned to Robin, ready to implement his idea. He just hoped that the ends justified the means in this particular case. _It's not like he can get much worse, right? _"Hey, Robin, maybe you should still go see that movie with Star."

Robin looked curiously at Beastboy. "What? Why? We have work to do."

Beastboy glanced around as if looking for eavesdroppers before leaning in close to Robin and continuing in a low whisper. "Well, Slade must have heard what movie you were gonna see using his satellite thingies, right? So why would he reveal his new apprentice just to stop you from seeing a movie. There must be something in that particular movie that he is trying to make sure you don't see."

Robin barely even hesitated before replying. "Which means we have to see it. And pay really close attention to it. I better tell Starfire, too, so she can help me watch."

"No!" Beastboy could only imagine what Starfire would do to him if she learned that he actually did what she had accused him of earlier. "No, because, uh, Slade might be watching. Yeah, and, uh, you don't want him to know that we know that he knows there is something important in the movie. So it would be better to just treat this like, uh, a date. Yeah, it's like being undercover. You have to just make Slade think that you two are out on a date. And you don't tell Starfire, not ever, because she's too nice to be deceptive and might accidentally give it away. We'll just keep this between the two of us detectives, right? No need to ever tell anyone else. Especially Starfire."

Robin nodded, and replied, "Hmm... good thinking. Better not to tip our hand. Yeah, we will just keep this between us. You get back to the tower, though, and call me if you get any leads." Robin looked appraisingly at his green teammate. "You know, Beastboy, it's kind of nice to have someone else take Slade as seriously as I do."

As Robin walked away to find Starfire, Beastboy couldn't suppress a shudder. _I seriously hope that didn't do any permanent damage._

* * *

Raven did not have to walk very far before her surroundings suddenly changed into the sunny meadow that was the domain of Happy. Raven braced herself for the inevitable appearance of her pink clad doppleganger, an event usually marked by annoying giggling and fierce hugs. But the perky assault never came. Slightly mystified, Raven continued walking through the bright and aromatic field, glancing around for any sign of her missing emotion.

_That's strange. I usually can't go two steps in this place without being pounced on. I wonder where she is, and if it has anything to do with my powers going haywire._

After several minutes, Raven had traversed almost the entire distance through the environment of effervescent glee and had still seen no sign of Happy. She was debating on whether or not to stay and look for Happy or to proceed through her mind in search of another emotion, when a loud, angry yell pierced the relative calm of the surrounding area. She spun to look for the source of the sound, and saw a large clump of trees to her right. She proceeded as quickly as she could into the grove until she came to the clearing in the center. There, she was stopped short in complete and utter disbelief.

_What is...? How could...? What are they...?_

There in the middle of the grove of trees in the land of Happy were the remaining 7 of Raven's emotional entities. All of them gathered together was a very strange occurrence in and of itself, but what was happening here was almost inconceivable.

Off to the side, orange cloaked Crude was sitting on the ground, leaning up against a tree. Her immense lack of concern over what was happening was evident in the fact that she was sleeping soundly, punctuated by an occasional snore. All the remaining emotions were in the center of the clearing, clumped together in a seething mass of colored cloaks.

In the center of that mass, Raven could see the brown cloak of Wisdom, who was evidently trying to mediate the situation. She was not accomplishing much. At either end of Wisdom's outstretched arms there was a screaming, flailing emotion straining to circumvent the intercession. Had Raven been told of this without seeing it first, she would have assumed that the warring emotions would be Rage and Brave. But, as has already been mentioned, Rage was elsewhere at the moment and was not one of the combatants. Much to Raven's surprise, neither was Brave. No, the shocking fact of the matter was that the two emotions doing their best to injure and deafen one another were none other than the yellow cloaked Knowledge and the purple cloaked Affection. Brave, never one to linger on the fringe of any conflict, was standing right behind Affection, boisterously cheering her on and shouting out advice. Timid was on the other side, cowering in her gray cloak behind Knowledge, though she did poke her head up occasionally to nod her support of whatever point Knowledge was trying to make. The last emotion, the pink cloaked Happy, was bouncing in, around, and between all the others, doing her very best to cheer on everyone and agree with everything.

_Well, no wonder Rage almost took over. My emotions are having a rumble in my mind. _After taking time to absorb exactly what was happening, Raven stepped fully into the clearing and raised her voice above the earsplitting din. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

All of her emotions whirled around to look at her, and silence reigned supreme... for approximately 3 seconds. Suddenly she was being ferociously hugged by Happy. "Rae-Rae! When did you get here?"

Raven did her best to glare at the girl while extricating herself from the death grip. "Don't call me that. And I got here about two minutes ago."

During this exchange, the altercation in the center of the clearing had gone on temporary hiatus and Brave, Knowledge, and Affection had come over to where Raven was standing. The only indication that anything out of the ordinary had been happening was the bedraggled states of their cloaks and a slight flush on their normally pale cheeks from the exertion. Otherwise, they seemed much as they always did. A beleaguered but grateful Wisdom was hanging back, joined by the ever-cautious Timid. Crude was still asleep against her tree.

Once Raven was free of her clingy self, she turned to face the gathered emotions. "I have had trouble with my powers all day. A few minutes ago, Rage attempted a full take over and almost succeeded. I came here to find out what was wrong, but I didn't expect to walk in on World War 3. What exactly is going on?"

Strangely, none of the emotions seemed particularly willing to explain, not even the exuberant Happy or the long-winded Knowledge. Instead, all the emotions turned expectantly towards Wisdom. After a moment the brown cloaked emotion stepped forward. "How close did Rage come to taking over?"

Raven look suspiciously at Wisdom. It wasn't like her to dodge a question. "Very. Why is no one watching her? And what was going on here?"

Wisdom still didn't answer, instead turning to Knowledge. "Whose shift is it to watch Rage?"

Knowledge pulled a small yellow book from an inside pocket of her cloak, flipped it open, and scanned down the page, adjusting her glasses while she looked for the proper entry. "Let's see, right now it is... uh, mine, actually. It would appear I may have allowed myself to become distracted."

Raven looked at the yellow cloaked emotion and asked,"Oh, really? You think?"

Knowledge stuck the little book back in her cloak and began to walk away. "Well, I should go see to my shift. It would not be advisable to leave her unattended for too long."

Raven looked around and saw that Timid and Affection were starting to edge away as well. Happy was just standing there with an idiotic grin next to Brave, who had her arms crossed and a rather impatient look on her face. Crude was still sleeping against the tree.

As Raven turned back to Knowledge, she saw the bespectacled emotion give a quick shake of her head towards Wisdom. Something was definitely going on here, and Raven was getting tired of waiting.

"Freeze. No one is going anywhere until I get some answers. I think Rage will behave herself for the time being, so someone better start talking."

Brave looked around at the other emotions, a smirk playing across her features, before saying, "It's about time. I've been wanting to tell you for weeks, since it's obvious your not going to figure it out on your own, but these cowards wouldn't let me."

"Tell me what?"

Brave opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by Affection, the purple cloaked girl speaking for the first time. "Perhaps it would be best if Wisdom tells her."

Brave just shrugged her shoulders and gestured for Wisdom to get on with it. Wisdom looked around at the other emotions. Affection nodded her head and Happy smiled widely and gave two thumbs up. A strangled noise came from Timid, but the girl was turned away and had her cloak wrapped tightly around her, so it was difficult to interpret. Wisdom seemed to take it as acceptance. After several seconds, Knowledge gave a sigh and reluctantly nodded her head as well.

Wisdom finally directed her gaze at Raven. "Very well, we will tell you."

Raven raised an eyebrow at this. "So my emotions, to whom I gave corporeal form in order that they might help me, will now deign to answer my question? I feel so honored."

Wisdom ignored the sarcasm. "Some things are better discovered than revealed."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Closing your eyes does not make you blind. It just means you are unwilling to see."

Raven rolled her eyes impatiently. "As fascinating as that is, would you please stop impersonating a fortune cookie and get to the point?"

Wisdom hesitated a moment, before slightly inclining her head in acquiescence. "Very well. I have agreed, so I will tell you. **But**..."

Raven exhaled angrily, glaring at Wisdom. "How did I know there was going to be a 'but'? Do you realize you have never given me a straight answer. When I finally get you to stop talking in riddles, you have to qualify everything you say. It's never 'This is the answer.' It's always, 'This could be the anwer, but...' Every single time. You have no idea how much I hate your 'buts'."

All the other emotions had been standing quietly to allow Wisdom the chance to explain. The last statement by Raven, however, was entirely too opportune for Happy to pass up. With a cheerful grin she skipped up to Raven and interjected herself into the conversation. "But Rae-Rae, all our butts look the exact same as yours. Are you saying you don't like any of them?"

Raven glared at the chipper girl while growling out a reply. "Not now, Happy."

Happy continued giggling inanely. "I was just saying, I think we all have a very nice tushie."

Raven was about to bind Happy with her powers when she noticed something from the corner of her eye. Off to the side, still well removed from the other emotions, stood Timid, but the girl was not cowering behind her cloak as she usually was. Instead, she had her gray cloak pull up over one arm and was straining her neck over her shoulder, obviously trying to get a good look at her own backside. All the other emotions followed Raven's gaze. Timid, apparently feeling the weight of eyes on her, looked up. With a squeak she allowed the cloak to drop again, covering her form. "I kn-kn-knew it. I-I knew it w-was too b-big." The stuttering voice was barely audible.

Annoyed, vein clearly visible on her forehead, Raven looked back at Happy. "Damn it, Happy, the last thing Timid needs is more insecurities."

Knowledge spoke up. "You have no cause for worry, Timid. Raven watches what she eats and gets frequent exercise. We are well within all current height/weight charts."

Affection moved over and threw an arm around Timid. "Don't worry. It's not what we look like that matters. People like us for who we are."

The vein in Raven's forehead was now throbbing. _Just great. I came to get answers and instead I end up in the middle of an after school special._ Raven opened her mouth to bring the topic of conversation back to more relevant matters, but was cut off by Brave.

"Screw the height/weight charts and the touchy-feely crap! Just look at these buns of steel!" Brave moved her green cloak to the side and stuck one hip out, prominently displaying her, er, assets.

Raven's left eye started twitching in time with the vein. "That's enough. We need-"

Surprisingly, it was Timid who cut Raven off this time. She still spoke in a very small voice, and still stuttered, but what she said was enough to make all thoughts of speech flee from Raven's mind.

"D-do y-you th-think that, h-h-h-h-he likes it?" Timid was incandescently red as she said this, but was looking hopefully towards Brave for an answer.

Raven looked at Timid with her mouth still open. _He? He who? What is she talking about?_

Wisdom shook her head sadly. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Happy, Affection, and Knowledge were looking wide-eyed at Raven, trying to judge her response. The always confident Brave, though, was either not observant enough to notice what was going on, or perhaps just didn't care, and went full speed ahead with her answer.

"Are you kidding? How could he not? Just look at it!" Brave used her free hand to slap herself on the butt. "That is one fine, tight little caboose! You could bounce quarters off of it!"

"I don't know about quarters, but I would be willing to be bounced off it a few times. Every time I see that perfect ass in all that purple spandex I just want to take a big ol' bite out of it." Every head turned to see the newcomer, a stretching, yawning, and obviously just awakened Crude. Noticing all the attention, Crude looked around at the others. "What? We were talking about Beastboy again, right?"

A small gurgling sound brought everyone's focus back to Raven. She stood there, mouth still open, eyes wide, not moving a muscle. Crude seemed to notice her for the first time. "Hey, when did the wet blanket get here?"

Ignoring her, all the emotions stood and watched for several minutes. Finally, Happy moved over to stand in front of Raven. "Rae-Rae? Ravie?" Happy waved her hand inches from Raven's face, but got no response. Slowly, she reached out and gave Raven's shoulder a soft poke. After a few more pokes, and still no response, Happy turned to the other emotions looking uncharacteristically worried...

"I think we broke her."

* * *

**A/N:** This is not where I was originally going to end the chapter, but since it has been such a long time since I updated I decided to go ahead and post this. It's a decent enough stopping point. I found this chapter immensely difficult to write, but was more or less pleased with the way it came out. I know the visit to the mirror has been done to death, but hopefully my version was not too unoriginal. It's definitely better than the absolute crap that were my first few drafts, so if you don't like it, just be thankful I didn't post any of those. I am leaving town at the end of the week and will be gone until New Years, so it is highly unlikely that the next chapter will be up anytime before 2006. Once again, any and all reviews are appreciated and criticisms are viewed as an opportunity to improve my writing.

One last thing. In a review for chapter 2, someone commented on what gender I am. It never really occurred to me to mention it, and since this fic has unmistakable gender issues, I thought it a fair question. I do, however, find myself wondering how obvious it is from my writing. So, to any reviewers who feel like it, venture a guess. I realize this may come across as a lame ploy for more reviews, so don't feel obligated. I'm just curious if my writing has any particular slant to it. Thanks, and Happy Holidays!


	4. An Apologetic Interlude

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 4: An Apologetic Interlude **

As Beastboy stood at the main doors of the Jump City Megaplex looking back over his shoulder, he couldn't help but grin. A very ebullient Starfire was leading a very flustered-looking Robin into the theater. Apparantly, Starfire's reaction to Robin's decision to go ahead and see the movie was a bit more enthusiastic than the masked teen had anticipated. _I just hope the real reason he changed his mind doesn't slip._

Finally stepping out into the sunshine, Beastboy was at once intercepted by the teen aged theater employee with whom he had entrusted his package. The boy immediately thrust the package towards Beastboy and began speaking. "Here you are sir, safe and sound as promised."

Beastboy accepted the bags, noticing with some relief that it did not appear that they had been opened. He most decidedly did not want any more people knowing what he was carrying around. "Thanks for keeping an eye on it."

He turned to leave, but before he could, the boy spoke again. "Just so you know, we don't mean anything by it."

Beastboy faced the boy again, not exactly certain what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

The boy, still looking a little tense, carefully explained, "Me and my friends, and what we call you guys. We don't mean anything by it. We all think you guys are awesome."

Beastboy, finally understanding, replied, "Yeah, thanks. And, uh, sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to freak out on you or anything."

The boy waved off the apology. "Don't worry about it. I totally understand. I just wanted you to know that we would never insult you or your friends or your girlfriend."

_Girlfriend? Raven? Why does everyone keep saying that?_ "Uh, dude, she is not..."

The employee interrupted before Beastboy could finish, a small smirk playing on his lips. "I know, I know. Her name is Raven and she is not at all creepy." The smirk disappeared and was replaced by a pensive frown as he continued. "I don't even know why we call her that. We all think she is totally hot. I mean, you can't really see much with that cloak, cape thing she wears, but you do occasionally get a glimpse of leg or curves, and from what... "

With a blank expression, Beastboy raised his empty hand until it was between himself and the older teen, effectively stopping the stream of words. The employee looked on curiously at the hero's strange action. Beastboy morphed his hand into a large paw. The other boy watched silently, still obviously confused. Bright green eyes met those of the young man before shifting to stare at the paw. The young man's eyes followed the Titan's gaze. When long, razor sharp claws suddenly sprang from the paw, the boy jumped slightly. Quickly looking back at the changling's face, the employee was met with a furiously venomous glare.

With an uneasy gulp, the boy edged slowly towards the main entrance of the building. "Uh, right. Shutting up. I, uh, I better get back to work." And with that he bolted through the glass doors and scurried back into his place of employment.

Beastboy shifted the paw back to a human hand, still scowling in the direction of the employee's hasty retreat. _Stupid pervert. Calling her names and then talking about her like she is nothing but eye-candy. I guess it's not enough that she keeps the city safe, she has to be ogled by jerks like him in the process._

Beastboy stalked off toward the Tower, continuing to castigate the theater worker in his mind. He had gone a full two blocks before he finally cooled off enough to realize that his nightmare trip was coming to an end. _Almost done! Just have to get this back to the Tower and give it to Raven._ With this joyous thought, Beastboy continued on towards Titans Tower in a considerably better mood, whistling a jaunty tune as he walked.

That tune was cut off abruptly when something large and heavy slammed into his side, sending him careening down a side alley.

* * *

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." 

Raven wasn't entirely sure it was possible to meditate to clear one's mind whilst one was physically in their mind, but that was not important.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Meditation was safe. It was soothing. It was comforting.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

These were all things that Raven desperately craved after hearing Crude say... _No! Do NOT think about that. Don't think about anything. Just meditate._

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Finally, after several more minutes, Raven lowered her legs to stand and opened her eyes. She truly did not even know when or how she had started meditating. One minute, she was trying to get some straight answers from her emotions, and the next she was floating in search of serenity. The intervening time between the statements by Crude..._Don't think about that!_...and right now was all a little hazy.

Examining her surroundings, Raven noted the green grass, tall trees, blue sky, and cloyingly sweet smell. She was obviously still in the small clearing in the grove of trees in Happy's domain. Off to one side was Wisdom, levitating cross legged as she meditated, brown cloak flapping in the light breeze. Knowledge and Affection were sitting on the grass, carrying on a discussion in low whispers so as not to disturb others. There was no sign of any of the others. At least, there wasn't until Raven was quite suddenly pounced upon by an effusively energetic Happy.

"Rae-Rae! You're awake! Are you all better now?"

Detangling herself from arms, legs, and pink cloak, Raven answered in her standard monotone. "I'm fine."

Happy laughed while continuing, "I'm so glad! After all those things that Crude said..."

_Don't think about that!_ Raven hurried to cut Happy off. "I'm **fine**."

Happy, still grinning, began to reply but was prevented by the arrival of the other 3 emotions. Wisdom, placid and composed as always, asked, "Are you sufficiently recovered from your..., trauma?"

"I'm fine." _Don't think about that! Change the subject!_ Turning to Knowledge with a scowl, Raven asked, "Aren't you supposed to be watching Rage right now?"

Knowledge quickly glanced at Wisdom before responding. "We sent Crude to watch over Rage. Timid was getting a bit hysterical, so Brave escorted her back to her own realm."

"Fine. Make sure you keep an eye on her at all times." And with that Raven turned and began walking away from her emotions. She had only gone a few steps when she was stopped by the voice of Affection.

"Wait, Raven. Don't you think we should talk about the earlier... incident?"

_Don't think about that! _Raven did not turn around as she replied in her coldest voice. "No, I do not." She began walking away again, only to be stopped this time by a hand on her shoulder. Looking back, she saw that it was Wisdom.

"Raven, I really must insist that you stay a while longer. We have some very important things to discuss."

Raven glowered angrily. "Oh, you **insist**, do you? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is not going to happen. I am leaving."

Raven again started to walk away, but was once more stopped. This time, though, it wasn't a voice or a hand that stopped her. It was the fact that her body from the neck down was encased in glowing black energy. She let out a short gasp as she was picked up, turned, and set down to face the emotions once again. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Wisdom slowly shook her head, her voice sounding weary. "I am truly sorry Raven, but I am afraid we can not allow you to have a choice in this matter."

Seething with rage, Raven forced her words out through gritted teeth. "No choice? Who do you think you are? AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"

Nothing happened.

The rage she was feeling was transmuted into wide-eyed astonishment. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Once again, there was no effect. Beginning to feel a little panicky, she addressed Wisdom. "What's wrong with my powers? What did you do to me?"

"There is no cause for alarm. There is nothing wrong with your powers."

Raven eyed her dopplegangers suspiciously. "What do you mean? I can't..."

She was cut off by Knowledge. "Raven, you are well aware of how your powers function."

Affection spoke up. "You know that your powers are heavily influenced by your emotions..."

"Thats us!", Happy chimed in with a grin.

"So," Knowledge continued, "for the time being, your powers will not be available to you."

Raven's eyes darted from one emotion to the next. "So, what you are saying is..."

"That's right," Happy affirmed. "We won't let you leave until you talk to us."

Raven looked carefully at each of the emotions. Happy, as always, was grinning cheerfully. Knowledge was observing her inquisitively. Affection had a small smile. Wisdom stood there with very little expression, swathed in a peaceful radiance. Finally, Raven realized that she was going to have to talk with them. She really **didn't** have a choice. "Fine. What do you want to talk about."

The 4 emotions glanced at each other for a moment before all answering simultaneously.

"Beastboy."

* * *

_What the hell was that?_ Beastboy sat up groggily, holding his aching head with one hand and his throbbing ribs with the other. It didn't feel like anything was broken, but he would undoubtedly be sporting an impressive array of bruises for a few days. He looked up, trying to get his bearings. Directly in front of him was a red brick wall. Looking to either side he saw matching walls, and deduced he was in a dead-end alley. Leaning against one of the side walls for support, he levered himself up off the ground and turned around to find out what had hit him. His eyes widened in surprise.

Standing between Beastboy and the alley entrance was none other than Control Freak. He was flanked on one side by a malefic dumpster, apparently the object that had slammed into Beastboy, and on the other side by what appeared to be an extremely pissed off mailbox. In one hand Control Freak held a remote control. In the other hand, he held a bag. A white, plastic bag. A white, plastic bag that was labeled Jump City Superstore.

Beastboy slumped back against the wall as he did his best to suppress a groan of frustration._ This is SOOO not my day._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Hello, everyone. Let me just say that I am so, so sorry for how long it has taken for me to update. And I know that this chapter is very much shorter and less polished than previous chapters. There is a reason for both situations. In the second week of January, my power supply died and took my motherboard and processor with it. I had to wait for my tax refund check before I had the money to replace them. I have just recently gotten back up and running after being more than 2 months with no internet access.

This chapter was originally part of chapter 3. As I edited that chapter, though, I decided I wanted to stop it after the "I think we broke her line", so I decided to use this as the beginning of chapter 4. However, now that I can post again, and considering the time since my last update, I wanted to go ahead and get this uploaded just so everyone would know that the story has not been abandoned. I hope it doesn't totally suck. This really isn't a full chapter. It's just an apologetic interlude. There will still be two more chapters after this. I have already started on the next chapter, and will get it posted as soon as I possibly can.

Once again, thank you all so much for reading, especially to those of you who take the time to review.

One last apology, to any authors reading this whose story I used to review but haven't in a while. With no computer, I have not had the chance to keep up with my fanfic reading. I have something like 400+ email alerts sitting in my mailbox, so it will take me quite some time to get caught up. As I do, though, I will do my best to review as much as possible.

Finally, to anyone who might still be possibly wondering about the authors notes from last chapter, I am indeed male. So, kudos to all those who guessed correctly!


	5. Confrontations

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 5: Confrontations**

Beastboy allowed his head to fall back against the brick wall of the alley. The emerald teenager was vaguely aware that Control Freak was rambling on about something or other, but he wasn't paying any attention to the overweight geek. Instead, Beastboy was thinking about his current situation. _God must hate me. It's the only possible explanation. What could I have possibly done to deserve all of this? Did I fricassee puppies in a previous life or something?_ _I mean, geez, I wouldn't wish this on..._

SMACK!

Beastboy's reflections were abruptly cut short by a flying tin can making contact with his forehead. It really didn't do much to improve his pounding headache. He rubbed the point of impact as he looked up to see a very annoyed looking Control Freak. "Dude! What was that for?"

Control Freak stood with his arms crossed, one foot tapping impatiently as he glared at Beastboy. The dumpster and mailbox had been temporarily powered down. "Well?"

Beastboy, slightly confused, pushed himself wearily from the wall and stood up straight as he replied. "Well what?"

Control Freak let out a snort of exasperation as he threw his hands up and began gesticulating wildly. "What? I was monologuing, that's what! When a villain goes to all the trouble of springing an ambush, the least you could do is **try** to pay attention when he gives his monologue. But you weren't listening to a word I said. That's just rude! Not to mention a huge breach of superhero/archfoe etiquette. Now, I'll start over, so try to keep up!" Control Freak stood up as straight as he could, spread his feet apart and placed his hands on his hips, and then cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "It is I, Control Freak, Master of..."

Beastboy, not particularly enthusiastic about hearing any monologue right now, hastened to cut him off before he could get going. "Look, dude, I'm really not in the mood for this, 'kay. I've had a rough day, so..." Finally, though, Control Freak's words caught up to the mind of the changeling. _Did he just say what I think he said?_ "Wait, what did you say?"

Control Freak relaxed his pose and scowled at Beastboy as he replied. "It's not polite to interrupt, either. And I was just saying that you should pay attention when I monologue. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to go ahead and finish it."

Beastboy spoke up quickly, before Control Freak could start. "No, not about that. What was the eti-whats-it part you said?"

Control Freak was clearly becoming impatient. "What? Oh. I said it's a huge breach of superhero/archfoe etiquette for you not to listen to me. So LISTEN this time!" Once again, Control Freak struck his monologuing pose.

Beastboy frowned deeply and again spoke before Control Freak could get started. "Dude, we told you before. You are totally not the Titan's archfoe!"

Control Freak relaxed his pose once more as he replied. "Don't be stupid. Of course I'm not the Titan's archfoe."

Beastboy nodded. "Good."

Control Freak smiled widely. "I'm your archfoe. We are nemeses."

Beastboy stood gaping while his mind tried to comprehend this. _What? He thinks that he is my personal nemesis? Good God, I hope he hasn't been telling people that!_ After a few seconds, Beastboy replied while shaking his head. "No way, dude! You are not the Titan's archfoe and you are so totally not my archfoe either."

Control Freak looked at Beastboy as if he had just claimed that the sky was green and the grass was blue. "That's ridiculous. It's completely obvious that I am your arch nemesis. It follows all the rules."

"Rules? What rules?"

Control Freak tucked his remote control into a belt holster and held up one finger as he answered. "Well, the first rule is that they have to have fought more than once. No single fight baddies can qualify."

Beastboy only nodded. "Fine, but there's lots of villains that I've fought more than once."

Control Freak held up a second finger. "The second rule is that they must be similar in some way."

Beastboy started shaking his head and waving his hands , quick to refute that particular claim. "Well, that settles it. We have absolutely, totally, undoubtedly nothing in common. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nothing."

Control Freak raised an eyebrow. "What about our mutual love of television? And our shared belief that Clash of the Planets is the greatest show ever made?"

"That hardly seems like having something in common," grumbled Beastboy as he hunched his shoulders and crossed his arms. He flinched slightly from the contact with his sore ribs.

Control Freak just shrugged. "It's enough. Especially when taken with rule number three." He raised a third finger. "The hero has to have defeated the villain when no one else was able to. When we were all trapped in television, I was destroying the Titans. There was nothing your team could do to stop me. But you did. You used our shared knowledge to defeat me and fulfill all three rules."

Beastboy peered at Control Freak warily. "You made all those rules up yourself, didn't you?"

"What's your point? Prison can get boring. It doesn't mean that it's not true."

_Is it true? Is he my nemesis? NO! That would be too totally lame. It's not like I need one anyways. _Beastboy looked back at Control Freak. "Yeah, well, who says I have to have a nemesis at all?"

Control Freak gave a short laugh before he replied. "ALL superheroes have a nemesis. I mean, just think about it. Superman has Lex Luthor. Batman has the Joker. Every hero has their archfoe."

Beastboy held up a finger in triumph and smiled as he replied. "Ha! Both of them fly solo. I'm part of a team, so I can't have a personal foe. So there!" Beastboy blew a raspberry at the villainous geek.

Control Freak shook his head slowly and smiled condescendingly. "Beastboy, Beastboy, Beastboy. Of course you can have a personal archfoe. Just look at the other members of your team. Robin, of course, has Slade. Sweet Starfire has her equally beautiful yet delightfully evil sister, Blackfire. Cyborg has that psychotic master of mind control, Brother Blood. Raven has her very own father, the all-powerful demon Trigon the Terrible. And you have me."

_That's just creepy. _Beastboy looked at Control Freak suspiciously. "Dude, how do you know about all that? It's not like we put all our missions on a Saturday morning cartoon."

"..."

"..."

"It's called the internet. You can find out anything there," Control Freak replied.

"Whatever, dude. You are **not** my archfoe. You're barely even a villain. So, I think I am just gonna go ahead and kick your butt now." Beastboy morphed into a tiger and prepared to pounce.

Before the green tiger could spring into action, though, Control Freak held up the bag in his hand, dangling it in front of the teen hero. "Nuh uh uh. If you attack me, whatever is in here gets destroyed."

Beastboy quickly shifted back into human form and started to reach for the bag. At the last minute, though, he caught himself before making a desperate lunge. _Wait! Don't let him know it's important. And don't let him look inside. The last thing I want is for all the bad guys to know whats in it. Just be cool about it. If he thinks it's worthless then it will be easier to get back._ In a display of exaggerated nonchalance, Beastboy stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the wall. He did his best to modulate his voice into a tone of indifference. "Yeah, so. It's not like I can't just go back to the store, right?" _Oh dear God in heaven, anything but that!_

Control Freak watched Beastboy suspiciously. "So you don't care at all what happens to this bag?"

"Course not." Beastboy kicked the can at his feet in feigned boredom, surreptitiously keeping an eye on Control Freak and, more importantly, the bag in his hand. He couldn't tell if Control Freak was buying it.

"And you wouldn't care if I destroyed it or stole it, huh?"

Beastboy gulped nervously, hoping that Control Freak didn't notice. "Yeah, I couldn't care less."

Control Freak continued to watch closely. "Well then, I think I am gonna at least open it and see what's inside."

Beastboy could feel the sweat start to bead on his forehead, and did his best to control his voice. "G-go ahead. It doesn't matter to me."

"Fine then. I will." Control Freak began to untie the knot in the handle of the bag as Beastboy looked on in trepidation. As the knot finally began to come loose, Beastboy finally snapped.

"NO! Don't!"

Control Freak looked up at the animorph in surprise. This did, fortunately, prevent him from opening the bag and seeing what was inside.

Beastboy took a deep breath and continued as calmly and placatingly as he could. "You were right. The bag is important to me. But I swear to you, dude, it's not worth anything to you. So why don't we make a deal. You give me the bag and we each go our separate ways. You got a good shot in to start with, we talked, that's it. We call it all even for now. I won't try to put you in jail and I won't tell anyone I saw you."

Control Freak looked from Beast Boy, to the bag, and back. "Why? What's in the bag?"

Beastboy slowly shook his head, eyes wide. "Dude, trust me. You really, really, really don't wanna know."

Control Freak eyed the bag warily. It looked as if he might actually agree for a moment, but then, he shook his head quickly and turned back to Beastboy with a wide grin. "Very good. You almost got me. But your puny Jedi mind tricks won't work on me, boy."

"No, seriously, you do not want what's in..."

"No!" Control Freak swiftly snatched the remote from it's holster on his belt and pointed it at the dumpster and mailbox. "This is what we will do. We shall fight for the bag. An ultimate showdown between two archfoes!" He held up the white bag in his hand, lowering his voice to sound as sinister as possible. "And to the victor go the spoils." Pressing a button on the remote, he once again animated the dumpster and mailbox. They started to slowly stalk towards the changeling.

Beastboy sighed heavily before morphing into a bull. _Yep, fricasseed puppies._

* * *

Raven plopped down onto the grass, pulling her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs, and looking at her gathered emotions. "Fine. Let's talk about Beastboy." _It's not like I have anything to hide, especially concerning him._

Happy, Affection, Knowledge, and Wisdom arranged themselves on the grass as well. For a few moments, Raven and her emotions just sat there looking at each other in an awkward silence. Finally, growing impatient, Raven spoke again. "If no one is going to say anything, then you might as well let me leave."

Knowledge looked around at the others before finally starting the conversation. "We wish to speak of your feelings for Beastboy."

_Feelings for Beastboy? That should be easy enough._ "Fine. He is an acquaintance and a teammate. He is loud, obnoxious, immature, annoying, offensive, crude, irritating, and bothersome. He has no respect for other people's privacy. He spends the great majority of his time rotting his brain with television and video games. He plays sophomoric pranks on everyone and tells the worst jokes in the history of mankind. Was there anything else, or can I leave now?" Raven made as if to stand up.

Happy, who had seated herself directly to Raven's right, quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the grass. "Of course you can't leave yet, silly. We just started!"

Raven jerked her arm away from Happy and glared at the pink cloaked emotion. "Is there any particular reason why she has to be here for this?"

Happy's grin never faltered. "Aw, c'mon Rae-Rae. You know you love me!"

Raven continued to glare as she ground out, "Do not call me that." Raven shifted her gaze to Wisdom. "And I'm serious. Knowledge and Affection were apparently the two that started the altercation earlier," the two emotions blushed slightly at this, and Raven continued, "and I assume you are here to mediate and offer advice. But why is she here?" Raven hooked a thumb towards Happy.

Wisdom closed her eyes solemnly as she answered Raven. "One should never seek to banish happiness."

Raven rolled her eyes before turning to look at Knowledge. "Maybe you can give me a straight answer?"

Knowledge glanced quickly at Happy. "Happy's participation in this intervention is necessary given our current location."

Raven looked briefly at her surroundings. "What do you mean?"

This time, Affection spoke up. "We are in Happy's domain. She has free reign over this place, and so can be wherever she likes. And it would be very inconsiderate to ask her to leave when it is we who intrude upon her. Besides, I find her company charming."

Happy's grin got even wider. "See, some people appreciate me. Now, unless you want to move this shindig somewhere else, I'm staying!"

Raven sighed in resignation. _I just want to get this over with. _"Fine, but could you try to be less... you?"

Happy flashed two thumbs up as she laughed. "Sure thing, Rae-Rae!"

Noting the homicidal gleam in Raven's eye, Wisdom decided it would be a good time to divert the empath. "Perhaps we should return to the matter at hand. I believe we were discussing Beastboy."

Finally dragging her eyes from Happy, Raven replied, "No. We were done with that. You asked me how I felt about him, and I answered. End of discussion."

Knowledge pushed her glasses up as she spoke. "Yes, well, we have reason to believe that you may not have been completely honest in your response."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "Everything I said was true."

Wisdom nodded. "That is correct. Everything you said was true. But perhaps you did not say everything. A lie of omission is still a lie."

_Omission? They think I am leaving something out? _ "I don't know what you are talking ..."

Raven was cut off by Affection. "Raven, maybe I should remind you that we are your emotions. We are parts of you. Trying to lie to us is not only completely pointless, it's also kind of, um, ..."

Happy raised her hand in the air and bounced up and down like an overeager elementary school student. "Ooh, I know, I know. It's sad? Pathetic? Pitiful? Embarrassing? Cowardly?"

Darting a glance back towards Raven and noticing the growing rage on her face, Affection decided to backpedal a bit. "Er, actually, I was going to go with detrimental."

Raven stood and turned her back on her emotions, walking a few steps away and taking deep breaths to calm herself. After a few moments she turned to face them once more. "Ok, look. You asked me a question and I answered it. Now you are calling me a liar. If you won't believe what I tell you, then why bother asking?"

Wisdom responded in her placid tones. "We are not asking these questions to hear the answers. We are asking them so that you may hear the answers."

_God, not more riddles._ The sound that Raven made in pure frustration could best be termed a growl.

Knowledge, seeing that they were not accomplishing anything with this line of questioning, decided to tackle it from an alternate angle. "Perhaps we should try a different approach. Do you remember what happened after you watched Wicked Scary?"

Raven looked at the yellow cloaked emotion in confusion. "Of course I do." _How could I forget?_

Before Knowledge could continue, Happy interjected with a giggle. "Ooh, that was so cool. We should do that again!"

Raven and the other three emotions all looked at Happy, silencing the boisterous girl for the moment.

With Happy subdued for the time being, Knowledge proceeded with her questioning. "What happened?"

_What does this have to do with anything, _Raven wondered, but answered anyways. "I lost control of my powers and they turned the tower into a haunted house."

Knowledge nodded in confirmation: "Yes, but why?"

_We've been over this before. _Raven couldn't help the slightly exasperated tone her voice took. "Because I wouldn't admit that I was afraid."

Knowledge nodded again, this time with a small smile in place. "Exactly. Denying that you were scared caused you to lose your powers, and for the unacknowledged feelings to use your powers to manifest themselves physically. Denial is a very strong and very dangerous thing, especially for you, Raven."

Raven raised an eyebrow at this declaration. "And? In case you don't remember, we already had this conversation, back when it happened. I don't mind admitting when I am afraid anymore, even if it is just because of a stupid movie. What does that have to do with anything?"

Knowledge shook her head slowly, obviously amazed that Raven still had not made the connection. Affection put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Wisdom decided it was up to her to state the obvious conclusion. "You are once again in denial."

Raven furrowed her brow in thought. "What? No I'm not. I have nothing to be in denial over."

Happy laughed loudly at that. "Good one, Rae-Rae."

Raven scowled. "I'm serious, Happy."

This just caused Happy to laugh louder. "Yeah, right! We might as well call you Cleopatra."

Affection couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped at this. After a glare from Raven, though, she did her best to stifle it. "What? I thought that was funny."

Raven massaged her temples slowly. "Ok. Why don't we all stop beating around the bush and you tell me exactly what you want to say. What is it that you think I am in denial over?"

The emotions all stood up so that they were level with Raven (or so they could run if needed). For a moment they just looked at each other. Finally, Wisdom cleared her throat as if to start explaining, but instead turned and nudged Knowledge with her elbow. Knowledge looked at Raven for a moment before nudging Affection. Affection opened her mouth, but closed it before saying anything. Open and closed. Open and closed. Finally, she stopped trying and nudged Happy. Happy looked with wide eyes at Affection, then at Raven, then back to Affection before sticking her elbow out to nudge someone. It was then that she realized that there was no one else to nudge. With a small "eep" she turned back to Raven looking strangely nervous. "Um, well, you see, the thing is... it's actually quite funny you know, you see... Ok, it's like this... "

Raven was losing what little patience she had left. "Just spit it out already!"

Happy quickly ducked behind Affection, who finally took the initiative and answered the question. "You like Beastboy. I mean, like-like. More than friends. Romantically."

_Oh God, oh God, oh God..._ Raven was stunned. Truth be told, she actually should have realized that this was what her emotions had been trying to tell her much sooner. Especially after certain comments by Crude. Had it been about anything else, she would have figured it out long ago. She was not a stupid person. But there are certain things that people find very difficult to believe, especially about themselves. Almost impossible, in fact. This was one of those things for Raven, and so she never even entertained the notion, regardless of how obviously it was staring her in the face.

Raven quickly shook herself from her stupor. She couldn't help but notice the small blush forming on her cheeks, but decided it would be best not to think about that. She instead turned herself to the task of refuting such a ridiculous notion. "Th-that's absurd. It's just... it's not possible. I could never, um, l-l-like B-Bea.., uh, him. Not like that." _Stop stuttering!_

Happy opened her mouth to respond, but was prevented when Wisdom moved quickly to her side and clamped a hand firmly over Happy's mouth. "Perhaps it would be best for Affection to address this. It is her area of expertise." Knowledge agreed with a simple nod. Happy squirmed away from Wisdom, but remained silent for the moment.

Affection took a step towards Raven and continued. "Trust me, Raven, you do. Why is that such an impossible thing for you to imagine?"

_Is it possible? Could it... NO! No way._ Raven steadied her voice as she replied. "No. It's not true. He is just an annoying little green elf. That's it."

Happy, demonstrating her amazing twenty second attention span, quickly forgot Wisdom's advice and took it upon herself to respond. "Aw, c'mon Rae. We all know you think he's a dead sexy beast!"

Raven glared at Happy. "Shut up, Happy."

Knowledge cleared her throat. "Actually, I think Happy has a valid point. You do find him attractive, don't you?"

_Well, maybe sometimes... wait, what? No! _The slight blush returned to her cheeks. Raven spoke vehemently, almost as if to make up for her wayward thoughts. "NO! That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. And that is counting Beastboy's lame jokes."

Affection crossed her arms, obviously offended on Beastboy's behalf, and huffed, "Why not? What's wrong with him?"

_Yeah, what's wrong with him?_ Raven wracked her brain for reasons, by this point not entirely sure if she was listing them for the emotions in front of her or for that annoying voice in her brain that was her stupid conscience insisting on the truth. "He is totally green. He has green skin," w_hich looks very soft and smooth_, "messy green hair," _that's actually kind of sexy, _"and green eyes," _you mean beautiful green eyes, of course. _"He has pointed ears," _Which are really quite adorable,_ "and fangs," _which are especially noticeable when he flashes that killer smile. _"And he is really short and scrawny." _Which is why you were ogling him during training the other day, huh?_

From the looks on the emotions faces, it didn't appear that they believed Raven anymore than she believed herself. Of course, she would never admit that to anyone, so settled with asking, "What?"

Affection narrowed her eyes and spoke accusingly. "You're lying. You don't really believe any of that."

Raven crossed her arms stubbornly. "I am **not** lying." _Yes you are._ "That is really what I think." _No it's not. _"And I don't see any way for you to prove otherwise."

Affection's face transformed into a sinister smirk. It was an expression Raven had never seen on her. Sometimes on Rage, and even occasionally on Brave, but never on Affection. It freaked Raven out more than just a little bit. The look didn't fade at all as the purple cloaked emotion spoke jeeringly. "Oh really? You think so? I guess we'll see about that, won't we?"

Turning to her sister emotions, Affection's voice softened a bit. "Knowledge, why don't you go get the book."

Knowledge looked a bit uncertain. "You mean..."

Affection nodded firmly. "Yes. I think in order to convince little-miss-stubborn-jackass here, we will have to bring out the big guns."

Knowledge glanced at Raven once before disappearing in a vortex of energy.

* * *

The little green hummingbird darted in and around flying debris. The dumpster and mailbox had long been incapacitated, but the garbage filling the abandoned alley offered plenty of opportunity for Control Freak's remote. 

Control Freak was standing near the entrance of the alley, keeping himself between Beastboy and the exit, laughing and occasionally firing off an insult. The maniacal couch potato had barely been touched in the combat, and he wasn't even breathing hard. His opponent, the green titan teen, had not been so lucky. He had picked up dozens of assorted bumps, bruises, and scrapes while fighting off the animated minions, in addition to the not insubstantial injuries he had started the fight with.

The hummingbird popped into a tiny gnat and landed near the roof on one of the walls. He needed to catch his breath and come up with some sort of strategy. _Ok, so he can keep evilfying stuff pretty much forever. I have to get close enough to him to either knock him out, steal the remote, or steal the bag. If I can get the bag, I can at least call in back-up. But I can't get close because of all the stuff that is trying to kill me. Yep, this sucks._

Diving back into combat, the gnat flew close to the ground and shifted into a cat. The cat nimbly ducked and dodged a whole army of empty soda bottles that were throwing themselves at him while running towards his enemy. As he neared, Beastboy shifted into a wolf, opening his jaws wide as he leaped at Control Freak. Before he made contact, though, an animated garbage bag rammed into him head on. The wolf quickly sprang back to the end of the alley, hacking and spitting as he did. _EWWWWW! Living, evil garbage bag right in the mouth. That is **so **totally nasty._

The wolf finally stopped gagging and started pacing the width of the alley while staring at his self-proclaimed nemesis. Control Freak stood smirking at the other end, enjoying his total dominance of the fight too much to bother ordering his minions to attack. Lowering his voice to a gravelly growl, he started speaking. "I know what you're thinking. Does that remote have battery power left, or not? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a URC-100 Unifier, the most powerful remote in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"

The green wolf rolled his eyes. _Oh, please, spare me. I can't believe I am losing to this guy. He has got to be the biggest nerd on the face of the earth. I would be shocked if he has ever been within ten feet of a girl... _The wolf's eyes widened in realization. _That's it!_

Beastboy quickly shifted back into human form. He held his hands up and walked slowly towards Control Freak. "Ok, ok, you win. I can't beat you. You have defeated me."

The shock on Control Freak's face at this pronouncement quickly faded into suspicion. "What? That's it? You're gonna give up, just like that?"

Beastboy stopped about 5 yards away from Control Freak. "Yup. You totally beat me, fair and square."

Control Freak powered down the assorted items that were still growling at Beastboy. "You're serious? You mean, I win? No tricks?"

Beastboy shook his head. "Nope, no tricks. You win. You beat me. So, I guess that bag is yours. To the victor go the spoils and all that, right?"

Control Freak eyes dropped greedily to the bag he was holding. "That's right! This is mine! I won it. I won, I beat you, and now this is mine!" He started laughing uncontrollably and doing some odd sort of jig.

Beastboy eyed him carefully. _That is just disturbing._ "Well, aren't you going to open the bag and see what you won?"

Control Freak stopped his less than graceful flailing. He looked at Beastboy, and then the bag, and then back at Beastboy. "Oh, yeah. And don't try anything funny. I'm still keeping an eye on you."

Beastboy grinned slightly. "No funny business here. Everything in that bag belongs to you, I swear."

Finally Control Freak started to open the bag. Beastboy's grin grew wider. The knot came undone, and the handles came apart. It was all Beastboy could do to stop himself from laughing out loud. _I can't wait, I can't wait, hurry, hurry!_

Control Freak raised the bag up and peered intently into it. Beastboy was almost dancing in anticipation. _This is it, this is it, this is it..._

Control Freak's eyes grew wide and there was a sharp intake of breath.

Beastboy waited for the mayhem.

Control Freak's stared blankly at Beastboy for a minute before he could speak. "Oh my God. Oh my God. This is... these are... why did you..."

Beastboy smiled in triumph. "I told you dude, you really didn't..."

But he was cut off by Control Freak's shrill screeching. "THESE ARE THE GREATEST THINGS IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"

Beastboy's grin disappeared. _What the hell?_

Control Freak was smiling happily as he reached into the bag and pulled out the package, holding it up in one had for all the world to see. His voice was still high and shrill, and his eyes danced happily as he continued. "Do you have any idea what these are? These are the Uberclip 5000 Super Special Deluxe Professional Edition Heavy Duty Nose Hair Trimmers!"

Beastboy slapped his head with one hand and groaned. _Oh, right. The other stuff is in the paper bag._

Control Freak, though, was too beside himself with glee to notice the actions of the changeling. "These things are almost impossible to get. Unless you want to, like, pay for them or something. But they are impossible to steal. They keep them locked up in a glass case, and an employee has to unlock it, and then they have to walk it up to the registers with you, and..."

Beastboy was a bit agitated at this point. "Dude, I KNOW. Look in the other bag!"

But the potbellied dweeb was not really listening. "Oh, right. You bought them, of course you know. When you were so eager to get the bag back, I knew it had to be something good, but I never thought that..."

Beastboy, jaw clenched hard, gritted out, "Look. In. The. Other. Bag!"

But once again his foe was too busy rambling to hear what he said. "Oh, and look, they have dual speed control, and removable attachments, and it's got in a built in battery so it's recharg..."

The young hero, finally reaching the end of his rope, grabbed Control Freak by the collar, shoved him up against the wall, and screamed in his face, "LOOK IN THE OTHER FRICKIN' BAG!"

Control Freak stumbled and dropped the bag as Beastboy let him go. "Gee, you're a sore loser." As he reached down to pick up the plastic bag he noticed something for the first time. "Hey, there's another bag in here!"

Beastboy's fists were clenched, and his jaw was grinding. He seemed to have developed an interesting facial tick as well. _Must not kill. Must not kill._

Control Freak fished the brown paper sack out of the plastic bag and held it up. "So I guess this is mine too." The greedy gleam once again shone from his eyes. "So, is this as good as the trimmers?"

Beastboy, finally having relaxed a bit, looked on in sadistic amusement. "Oh, I have no doubt you will be even more surprised by this."

"Sweet!" Control Freak started tearing into the bag like a kid at Christmas. Until he reached the box. As soon as he uncovered the box enough to read the product name, he froze. He stood there, staring, not making a sound.

Beastboy, not confronted with the reaction he expected, shifted nervously. The soft sound of his foot scraping against the ground seemed to be enough stimulation to jump start Control Freak again. And then the screaming started.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Control Freak dropped the box and ran backwards until he hit the wall.

Beastboy grinned. _That's more like it!_ "Look, dude, I told you that you wouldn't want that bag."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Control Freak slowly slid down the wall, never ceasing his endless wail.

The animorph walked towards him, still smiling. "You really shoulda listened to me. It woulda saved you some therapy later on."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Finally reaching a sitting position, Control Freak hugged himself tightly as his screeching continued.

Beastboy stopped right in front of him, wincing slightly from the shrill sound. "Now, I think this means that **I **won, don't you agree?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Control Freak eyes were glazed over, unseeing and unaware of anything around him.

The titan's grin started to falter. _Dude, he's turning blue!_ "For God's sake, Control Freak, breathe already!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The distraught villain didn't seem to want to take the hero's advice. He very much resembled a giant blueberry.

Beastboy, realizing now that this could be a real problem, dropped to one knee and started shaking the rotund teen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

After getting no response, our protagonist was really only left with one option. He pulled back his arm and punched Control Freak hard in the gut. This stopped the screaming short and left Control Freak gasping and weezing for breath like a smoker of 60 years.

Beastboy sat back on his heels and watched while the overwrought young man collected himself. Finally catching his breath, Control Freak looked around until his eyes rested on the box of tampons lying in the alley. With a look of sheer terror on his face, he scuttled sideways on his hands as far away as he could.

Beastboy walked over and picked up the box. He noticed that no matter where he moved it, Control Freak's eyes followed it. The titan moved closer to him, eliciting a small, sad whimper from the trembling mass of would-be archfoe. Taking pity on him, Beastboy hid the box behind his back, watching as Control Freak breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Now that Control Freak was under control again, Beastboy decided to resume his questioning. "So, I think it's safe to say that I won, huh?"

Control Freak, eyes wide, nodded his head. "Y-yeah. Whatever you say. Just, please don't let them get me."

"So," Beastboy continued, "you won't be ambushing any more people today, right?"

A shake of the head was the only response.

"And you won't be terrorizing any more movie theaters or video rental places or anything, right?"

The souped-up remote landed at the changeling's feet.

"In fact, you are about to go turn yourself in to the police right now, huh?"

Without a word Control Freak stood and started walking out of the alley, presumably to find the nearest police station. Before he got far, though, Beastboy called out. "And remember, Control Freak, you will go straight to the police. **Or else!**" With this ominous statement Beastboy chucked the box of tampons at Control Freak and hit him in the chest.

Control Freak looked at the box lying on the ground, the box that had actually touched him, and suddenly he was running out of the alley as fast as his portly body would go, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs.

Beastboy picked up the box and put it back in it's brown paper bag. As the titan left the alley and started limping slowly back to the tower, bruised, battered, and bleeding, he chuckled to himself.

_Dude, what a baby._

* * *

Raven, Affection, Wisdom, and Happy stood silently waiting the return of Knowledge. Raven was a little nervous, but was trying to talk herself out of it. _Don't worry. They got nothin'. They are just bluffing._

After several minutes, Knowledge reappeared. Affection was the first to react. "So, did you get it?"

Knowledge shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. It does not seem to be on it's shelf." Looking over Affection's shoulder, the bespectacled emotion noticed Happy avoiding eye contact and casually whistling. Much too casually. "Happy, I don't suppose you know where it is, do you?"

With a stare of wide eyed innocence, Happy slowly shook her head. "Uh-uh. I have no idea where it could..."

Wisdom silently moved behind her and reached into her pink cloak, pulling out a yellow-covered book and stopping Happy's words. "Then what is this?"

Laughing nervously, Happy replied, "Oh, **that** book. I thought you were looking for a, uh, thesaurus."

Taking the book from Wisdom's outstretched hand, Knowledge asked, "Do you even know what a thesaurus is?"

Happy scrunched her nose up as she thought. "Some kind of dinosaur book?"

Knowledge sighed. "No, Happy. A thesaurus is a reference book used for..."

Raven cleared her throat significantly. "Can special ed. wait until after I leave?"

Knowledge blinked owlishly, remembering the reason they were all there. "Oh. Right. Of course. Go ahead, Affection."

All eyes turned to Affection. "Ok, Raven. You say you don't find Beastboy attractive. The book that Knowledge is holding will provide proof that you are not being honest."

Raven looked cautiously at the book. "How is a book going to do that."

"Because Raven," Affection replied, "it's not just any book. It's a journal. Your journal, in fact."

Raven was taken aback by this. "But, I don't keep a journal."

Affection's smile was predatory. "Oh, but you do. You just don't know that you do. Go ahead Knowledge."

Knowledge opened the cover of the book. "Should I just start from the beginning?"

Happy jumped up and down. "Ooh, start with page 327. That one is my absolute favorite. I've read that book like a hundred times, page 327 is the best!"

Wisdom placed a hand on Happy's shoulder to try and calm her, and then turned and addressed Knowledge. "Perhaps you should just open to a random page. I think beginning in the middle of one of the entries will be the most expeditious means to our end."

Happy sighed. "Fine. But when you get a chance, read page 327. It's totally worth it."

Knowledge opened to a random page in the middle of the book. She cleared her throat, adjusted her glasses, and began reading. "I stared deeply into the green pools of light that were his eyes, knowing that I would soon be drowning, and somehow not caring. Those radiant pools moved closer, closer, closer to my violet orbs. And then we were devouring each other, mouths hot and searching, tongues dancing a dance as old as time itself. His hands moved upwards from my hips, leaving trails of fire, shedding me of my cloak. Our bodies pressed together, closer, harder, seeking to become one. His mouth moved from my lips, across my jaw, down my neck. I moaned in ecstasy, reaching for him, my fingernails scraping across his green flesh, seeking to divest him of his purple uniform. Tumbling down onto my bed, feeling the weight of his body pressing down on mine, I..."

"I think that's enough, Knowledge," Affection said, noticing the deer-in-the-headlights look on Raven's face. "And there, Raven, is our proof."

Raven, however recovered quickly. "Proof? That's just some poorly written, trashy romance novel. You changed the characters to resemble me and Beastboy. That's all."

Affection shook her head. "That's not true. I told you Raven, it's your journal."

"And I told you, Affection, I don't keep a journal."

Affection pursed her lips in thought. "I guess technically that's true. Knowledge keeps it for you. You see, that is not a normal journal. That is your Dream Journal."

Raven's eyes widened and she silently mouthed the words, "Dream Journal?"

Affection nodded. "That's right. That is a faithful record of all your dreams. Right, Knowledge?"

Knowledge scowled. "Well, not precisely correct. This is just a single volume of the collective work of your Dream Journals. This is just the book for erotic dreams. Other types of dreams are recorded in other volumes. The dream I just read is one you had fifteen days ago."

Raven's mouth opened and closed soundlessly. _Oh crap... I can't.. It's not...Oh crap._

Wisdom gestured towards Knowledge. "Do you still need more proof, Raven? If you like, we could have Knowledge finish. Or she could read a piece from another entry."

Happy skipped over to Knowledge and grabbed her by the arm. "Ooh, do page 327. I swear, it's the best one in the whole book. Read that one next!"

Knowledge ignored Happy and addressed a still gaping Raven. "Or, if you prefer, I also have your dreams stored on visual media. I could go get one of those and we could watch one of them."

Raven didn't respond. Happy, however, went strangely still. "You mean, you have these on video?"

Knowledge nodded.

Suddenly not making eye contact, Happy asked in painfully feigned nonchalance. "So, where exactly do you keep the videos of..."

Knowledge didn't even let her finish. "No, Happy."

"Aw, c'mon, I'm just curious where you keep them."

"No, Happy."

"You don't have to let me see all of them. I'm not greedy! Just one or two. Please?"

"No Happy."

"Ok, just let me see one dream. That's all, just one dream."

"No Happy."

"It doesn't even have to be a whole dream. Just let me see the last couple of minutes of the one on page 327. Just the last 5 minutes or so. C'mon, if you do, I will never bug any of you again. Puh-leeeaaasssseeee?"

"No Happy."

Happy frowned petulantly. "Fine. Some friend you are. I didn't want to see them anyways." Happy stomped off a few yards to pout.

Affection turned to Raven. "So, do you admit now that you were lying?"

Raven, finally recovered, scowled. "Fine."

Wisdom shook her head. "Raven, you need to actually say it."

Raven, knowing she was defeated, conceded. "Fine. I was lying about Beastboy. I do find him a tiny bit attractive. Sometimes."

Affection smiled in triumph. "Hah! So you admit you like him."

Raven shook her head. "I never said that. I said I find him attractive. That's it."

The purple cloaked emotion stared at her incredulously. "But what about the dream!"

Raven, maintaining her stoic expression, replied, "So I had a sex dream about Beastboy. It's perfectly natural for a girl my age. It's not like I have never dreamed of anyone else like that."

Knowledge started flipping through the journal. "Actually she's right. Let's see. In the past few months it's been Beastboy, Beastboy, Beastboy, Aqualad, Beastboy, Beastboy, Johnny Depp, Beastboy, Beastboy, Beastboy, Aqualad, Beastboy, Beastboy AND Aqualad..."

Raven, blushing, cut her off. "I think we get the point!"

Happy, apparently recovered from her disappointment, bounded back over to the group. "OOH, Rae-Rae, kinky!"

Raven did her best to suppress the desire to maim Happy. "The dream means nothing except I find him attractive and I am a teenager at the mercy of my hormones. That's all. I do not like Beastboy. He has never been anything but an annoying pest!"

Affection stormed over to Raven. "That's not true! Don't ever say that! Don't you remember the time he came in here and helped you, even at the risk of his own life."

Raven tried to say that, yes, she did remember that, but Affection did not let her get a word in edgewise. She was actually yelling now. "And when Slade came back, and everyone found out what we are. He never cared that we're part demon."

_That's true. It didn't seem to faze him at all._

"And what about when Trigon came. He stood by us the whole time. He even gave us that penny."

_That stupid penny. Like a lucky penny could avert the end of the world. Still, I'm glad he gave it to me..._

"And the time he saved you from Adonis. He saved your life! Even as a beast he only wanted to help you. And remember the talk we had with him afterwards?"

Raven thought back to that time. _He was so scared that he had hurt me..._

Affection's voice dropped now, barely audible at all. "And what about Malchior. He tried to help us. And afterwards, he came by. He told us we weren't alone. He gave us hope. He was ..."

"...very sweet."

All four emotions jerked their heads up to look at Raven, who was suddenly blushing deeply. "Oh, um, did I say that out loud?"

Suddenly Affection and Happy were hugging Raven. "See, you **do** like him!"

It took Raven several minutes to disentangle herself. Finally, she was standing facing her emotions once more. "Fine. I admit it. I have a little crush on Beastboy. Are you happy now?"

All the emotions smiled while Wisdom spoke. "Yes Raven. That is what you needed to hear. Your refusal to admit it, even to yourself, has been the cause of most of your problems recently."

Raven looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Wisdom smiled. "It's actually quite simple. You always had trouble with your powers when you were thinking about Beastboy. You just wouldn't admit it. The only reason Rage was able to attempt a takeover is because Knowledge and Affection started a fight about whether or not to tell you directly, because you wouldn't admit it. Now that you have admitted it, controlling your emotions will be much easier, as will controlling your powers."

Raven nodded. "I guess that makes sense."

Affection placed a hand on Raven's shoulder. "Now all you have to do is act on your feelings."

Raven froze. "Act on them? Why?"

Happy knocked on Raven's forehead. "Hello? Anyone home? C'mon Rae-Rae, how else will we turn those dreams of yours into realities?"

Raven lunged for Happy, but was restrained by Affection. "Don't worry Raven. I don't mean you have to throw yourself at him. Just, be willing to listen to your feelings about him. I mean, we do know what we are talking about, you know."

Raven smiled slightly. "I guess I could do that."

Wisdom inclined her head. "That is all we ask. Now, I believe we have taken enough of your time. You are free to leave."

Raven slipped back into her trademark sarcasm, but this time there was really no malice in it. "Well, gee, thanks. Are you sure there is nothing else you can force me to do for you?"

Any other emotion would have just chuckled and waved as Raven walked towards the forbidden door. But of course, Happy was not just any emotion. "Well, Rae-Rae, since you asked, could you at least draw me a picture of what page 327 would look like?"

It too the combined efforts of Knowledge, Wisdom, and Affection to pry Raven's fingers from Happy's throat.

* * *

**A/N:** And finally a full length update! I tried to get this out as quickly as I could, so I hope the writing doesn't seem too rushed. I am, for the most part, pretty pleased with how it turned out. I really wasn't sure how I was going to bridge chapter 3 with where I wanted to end the story, but this seems to work. The last Raven scene is a little heavy-handed and cliché, but it seemed that doing it any other way would have required a few chapters by itself. Since the story is more about Beastboy's quest than Raven's realization, I didn't want to spend too much time on that part of it. Not to mention the fact that that's a hard portion to think up comedy for. So, I wrapped it up a little abruptly. In spite of that, this chapter once again turned out much longer than I anticipated. I hope the chapter lengths aren't too unwieldy. 

So now, only one chapter left! I haven't started writing it yet, but I do have a rough outline for it. I will start on it this week and get it posted as soon as I can.

Thanks to everyone for reading, and especially those who take the time to review. I will reply to all signed reviews unless specifically requested not to. Any and all reviews are appreciated and criticisms are viewed as an opportunity to improve my writing.

Thanks again!


	6. To See You Smile

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

**Where No Man Has Gone Before**

**Chapter 6: To See You Smile**

Raven stepped lightly from the whirling vortex of energy into the tenebrous confines of her room. Surveying the gloomy interior, she noted with satisfaction that all was as she had left it. With a glowing tendril of dark powers, she flipped on the light switch, re-illuminating the room for the first time since the spectacular failure that was her attempt at a nap.

Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, she picked up the alarm clock from the bedside table and turned it towards herself. _I wonder if Beastboy is back yet? It's been almost three hours, there is no way it could take this long, even for him._ She absently placed the clock back on the table. _He probably came by and knocked while I was in the mirror, I just wasn't here to answer the door. He's probably rotting his brain in front of the television._ Resolved in her mind to locate the changeling, she stood from the bed and exited her room.

It was only a moment before she entered the living room, casting her expectant gaze towards the couch. It, and the rest of the room, was disappointingly empty. Neither was there anyone in the kitchen area preparing soy based meat substitutes in new, creative, and disgusting ways.

Raven's brow furrowed. _That's odd. How could he not be back yet? _She absently chewed her lip as another thought arose unbidden. _I hope he's ok._

Shaking her head slightly to dispel this disturbing notion, she turned back to the door. _That's stupid. It was just a trip to the store. What could possibly have gone wrong? He's probably in his room. _With a hopeful sort of pragmatism she marched back towards the Titan's bedrooms to continue her search for the misplaced animorph, her egress from the living room marked by the quiet swishing of the doors behind her.

It is, perhaps, significant to note that, as she traversed the hallways of the tower, it never really occurred to Raven that she had spent nearly every second since returning from her mirror wondering about and attempting to locate the whereabouts of Beastboy. The fact that she was obviously concerned for him no longer weighed heavily on the empath. Her afternoon's activities had sufficiently reconciled Raven to the truth that she did indeed care for her green teammate, regardless of how unwilling she would be (at least outside of her own mind) to ever admit aloud to such a thing. Though, like any teenaged girl (superpowers or not), she did still worry about how she would act around him now, and if he possibly liked her back, and what their friends would think. But the simple idea of being romantically interested in another person no longer distressed the half-demon nearly as much as it would have the day before, or even that very morning. Not even when the object of that interest was Beastboy.

Finally arriving at his bedroom, Raven knocked on the door. After a moment of waiting for an answer, she again rapped firmly, this time calling out as she did. "Beastboy? Are you in there? It's me. Raven." Still receiving no response, she frowned worriedly. _So if he's not in his room, or the living room, or the kitchen, then he's probably not in the tower. And if he's not in the tower, that means he hasn't come back yet. And if he's not back yet, then something is definitely wrong. _

Determining that the best way to locate Beastboy would be by simply calling him, Raven turned and began walking back towards her own room, intent on retrieving her communicator from the pocket of her cloak. As she neared the door she reached out her hand to enter her access code. Before she had a chance to do so, though, she was stopped by a noise from the end of the hallway. It was the telltale "ding" of the elevator arriving at it's destination.

Raven spun and watched as the doors slid open, hoping for the emergence of the object of her search. Her eyes widened in unabashed shock as the person stepped off the elevator.

It was indeed Beastboy, but not at all as she had expected. He wasn't marching proudly down the hallway, head held high, wide grin on his face, the triumphant return of a conquering hero. Nor was he shuffling embarrassedly towards her, package behind his back, face adorned with a timid smile and a blush. No, it was nothing at all like that. It was nothing at all like anything she would have ever imagined.

Beastboy was tottering forward on unsteady legs, bracing one hand against the wall for support. His head and ears drooped low, his shoulders sagging. His eyes were trained downward, focusing on each step, still unaware of his observer. He was covered with a layer of grime, only relieved in those spots where his sweat had managed to cut through the dirt. His face was a mask of bone-weary exhaustion, occasionally cracked by a grimace of pain. The beginning of a dark bruise was forming on one cheek, and his chin was scraped raw. His other arm was wrapped tightly around his midsection, a brown paper sack clutched tightly in his hand.

Raven couldn't suppress the surprised gasp that escaped her lips or stop herself from taking an involuntary step towards the beleaguered changeling. At the sound, Beastboy's head shot up and their eyes met.

"Oh. Hey, Raven. What's up?"

Raven's eyebrows raised at the obvious effort at nonchalance. She could tell he was trying to stand up a little straighter and act as if he wasn't seriously injured. "Beastboy, what happened to you? Are you ok?" _Dumb question, Raven. He can barely walk._

Beastboy waved her concern away airily with his free hand. "Oh, nothin'. Just a little run-in with Control Freak. No big deal. I'm totally fine."

Of course, this statement would have been much more believable if removing his hand from the wall to wave hadn't unbalanced him and made him wobble forward in a sudden swoon of dizziness. Raven rushed to his side and wrapped her arm gingerly around his waist, doing her best to help support him.

"Totally fine?"

Beastboy gave a nervous chuckle as he dropped his arm across her shoulders and leaned his weight onto her. "Heh, ok, maybe not **totally** fine. But I did get your, um... these." He held the bag up to show her.

Raven could only stare at the brown paper sack for a moment. It was just as grungy and bedraggled as her green teammate. Parts of the bag were a bit soggy from where it had come into contact with some unknown liquid. Other parts had equally mysterious stains. And through the various rips, she could see the box of tampons clearly. That box was also scratched up and dirty. But the condition did not detract from the achievement.

_He did it. He actually did it. And apparently went through a war zone to do it. I don't believe it. _Her eyes moved from the item in his hand to his suddenly very close face. Her cheeks warmed at the proximity. "I... Beastboy, this is... Thank you."

Beastboy's face also darkened in a blush as he mumbled out a reply. "You're welcome, Raven."

They simply stood like this for a moment, eyes locked, faces close, arms wrapped around each other. Finally, Beastboy spoke in a soft whisper. "Raven?"

Raven could barely hear his words over the thudding of her heart, but couldn't bring herself to speak any louder than he had as she responded. "Yes, Beastboy?"

"Raven," Beastboy paused, and Raven's breath hitched slightly in anticipation. "Raven, could you help me get to my room? I think I need to lay down."

Raven continued to stare at him for a moment, his words taking time to break through the spell that had been woven around her. Finally, though, she realized what he had said. "Huh? Oh. Oh, right! Are you sure you don't need the medical bay?"

"Nah, I just want to lay down. But if you were to offer some of your glowy blue healing mojo, I don't think I would refuse."

"Of course. Let's get you to your room and then I'll see what I can do." Slowly, and as gently as she could, Raven guided Beastboy down the hall towards his bedroom. He was too busy concentrating on trying to walk straight to engage in conversation, so Raven was left with her thoughts.

_God, Raven, get a grip! He can barely stand and you are too busy staring at his eyes to notice. Just because you like him doesn't mean you have to act like a stupid twelve year old at a boy band concert. _Still, she couldn't really help the small pang of disappointment that had flashed through her.

Raven helped him down the hallway and into his room. Navigating the dirty clothes, take-out tofu containers, and stacks of comic books was a little more difficult. Eventually, though, she lowered him to his bottom bunk. With a heavy sigh, Beastboy lay back on his bed, eyes already closed. Raven, kneeling next to his bed, took the paper sack from his hand and laid it on the floor. "Hold still."

She reached out and placed both hands on his midsection. Suddenly the room was awash in the soft blue light of the healing powers emanating from them. After a few minutes of carefully tending to his injuries, Raven let her hands drop to the bed next to him and sat back on her heels. Beastboy's eyes were still closed, but he seemed to be in much less pain. The bruise and scrape on his face had disappeared completely. "You had a concussion and some bruised ribs. You might still be a little sore for a few days, but other than that you're fine."

He cracked one eye open to look at Raven as he replied, "Thanks Rae. You're a lifesaver."

"You're welcome." Raven was silent for a moment, not sure what else to say. Before today, she would have just left, or possibly have made a sarcastic comment about needing healing after a trip to the store, but now she just couldn't. An alternative option floated through her mind, undoubtedly the suggestion of a certain purple cloaked emotion. It was not something she would normally do. _But I did promise I would try to listen to them about this._ She kept her eyes on her hands as they nervously picked at his blanket and asked, "Is there anything else you need? I could get you some food or something."

Beastboy raised his head up and opened both eyes so he could look fully at Raven. She could tell he was obviously taken aback by the unexpected offer. "Um, no thanks. I'm not really hungry. I think I'm just gonna take a little nap. It was kinda a rough day."

Raven nodded at this and watched as his head dropped back to the pillow and his eyes slid back shut. She grabbed the package off the floor, quietly stood, and turned to leave. At his door, she looked back at the changeling once more.

He already appeared to be fast asleep, his chest rising and falling in time with his deep breaths. After watching him for a few seconds, she again stepped into his room and picked her way back to his bed. Reaching up to the top bunk, she pulled a folded quilt from the foot of the bed. Being very careful not to wake the slumbering teen, Raven gently spread it over him. She froze as Beastboy stirred, but he only snuggled deeper into the blanket. _He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping._

Just as she was about to leave, another thought flitted through her mind. Raven anxiously considered it for a moment, unsure whether she should risk it or not. Eventually conceding to another prompting from Affection (and praying to whatever gods might be listening that Beastboy really was sound asleep) she took a deep breath to steady herself and leaned over him. With a racing heart and a shaking hand she brushed away the fringe of green hair before placing a soft, delicate kiss on his dirty forehead. She then stood and moved swiftly and silently out of his room without even a single glance back.

Had she taken the time to look back once more before leaving, though, she would have seen a small smile spread across the face of the still sleeping Beastboy.

_**

* * *

**_

Beastboy heaved a sigh of deep contentment as he stood under the steaming stream of water, allowing the hot shower to rinse away all the grit, grime, and soreness he had accumulated from his day's activities. He had woken from his nap a scant fifteen minutes earlier, slightly groggy but feeling exceptionally well rested. He had, however, recognized immediately that he was in desperate need of bathing and so had proceeded directly to the shower, where he now stood, body relaxing and mind wandering.

It wasn't long before his thoughts found themselves focused on his most recent return to the tower and the unanticipated, even slightly odd, reception he had received. To be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn't what had actually happened.

It wasn't the fact that he had met Raven in the hallway rather than in her room. That was unforeseen, but it wasn't really unusual. She could have been going to the living room, or the kitchen, or anywhere, really. Her helping him back to his room and healing his injuries wasn't out of the ordinary, either. She had helped him in similar ways dozens of times. They were, after all, crime-fighting, superhero teammates.

No, it was the other, less tangible things that his thoughts were hung up on. It was the weird moment in the hallway, after she had thanked him, as they stood staring at one another, both blushing slightly for no real reason. It was the surprising offer of food after she had healed him. It was the extra quilt that was covering him when he woke up, the very same quilt he knew for sure had been on the top bunk. It was almost as if something had changed between them. If he hadn't known any better, he might have thought that Raven actually...

Beastboy gave a quick shake of his head as he turned off the water. _Dude, don't be stupid. This is Raven we're talking about here. You're reading way too much into stuff. It was probably just the concussion. It must have, you know, scrambled your brains or messed with your mind or somethin'. _

That is, at least, what he kept trying to tell himself as he stepped out of the shower, dried off, and began pulling on a fresh uniform. But no matter how addled his brains may have been, he couldn't deny that she had treated him very differently than usual. She had actually offered to make him some food. _The last time she did anything like that it was because she thought the whole world was about to go kablooie and we were all gonna die horrible deaths at the hands of evil, sadistic demonic hordes._ Beastboy paused in his dressing to consider that, but finally decided that he was unlikely to see the end of the world twice in his own lifetime. Instead, his mind turned to the possibly significant fact that he had woken up on the bottom bunk under a quilt that had previously resided on the top bunk. The only explanation for that one was that Raven had actually spread the extra blanket over him while he slept. _But that was just probably 'cause I was injured. It was just a medical, doctory type thing. But wasn't there something else... _He gently rubbed a spot on his forehead as his mind tried futilely to grasp the slippery thought playing along the fringe of his memory.

Before he was able to apprehend the elusive remembrance, he was quite rudely interrupted by the deep, resonating growling of his own stomach. Placing one hand over the offending organ, he announced to his empty room, "Guess it's time to feed the beast. It must be gettin' close to dinnertime anyways." His room didn't seem to have any objections to that.

As Beastboy was marching towards his door, he noticed something lying atop all the other clutter of his room and hesitated. It was the dirty uniform he had taken off prior to his shower.

Now, it's quite common knowledge that Beastboy is not exactly a neat freak, and that his room could never be mistaken for a rose garden. But that particular uniform was not just normal dirty. It wasn't one he had worked up a sweat in, maybe crumbled some tofu on. It was one he had worn while fighting greasy popcorn, melted chocolate, and sticky soda. That particular uniform had been through a small war with an evil army of days old garbage. It had definitely come out the worse for wear. It wasn't nearly as bad as if he had fought Plasmus (**those** uniforms went to the incinerator rather than the washing machine), but it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that it would turn rancid fairly quickly.

Stepping over piles of old pizza boxes and careful not to crush any empty soda cans, Beastboy waded through the refuse of his room and approached the corner where stood Mount Saint Dirty Laundry. Reaching up on tiptoes, he plucked the garment from the top. The whole pile wobbled precariously, a few pungent socks slipping down the sides, and he could only pray that it would not cascade into a tumbling avalanche of malodorous clothing. Finally, though, he was able to breathe a sigh of relief as the fetid heap stabilized itself.

Beastboy made it back to his door without further incident and exited, marching proudly in the direction of the laundry room, uniform clinched victoriously in hand. _HA! And Robin says I never straighten up my room!_

The green teen walked down the hallway whistling, not even bothering to glance in as he passed by the open door of the laundry room and flung the soiled uniform in the general direction of where the clothes hamper had been the last time he saw it. He had only gone a few steps when he was brought to a halt by a loud "Eeep!" from behind. Backtracking slightly, he poked his head into the room to discover the source of the disturbance.

Starfire was standing on one side of the small room, glaring suspiciously at the uniform now lying crumpled on the floor. When she raised glowing fists and trained them on the article of clothing, Beastboy rushed in to intervene.

He placed himself between the Tamaranian and the apparel, raising his hands and waving them wildly. "Wait, Starfire, dont!"

Starfire, fists still glowing, spoke quickly as she responded. "Beastboy, beware! Though the Zn'Haglion Filthworm looks and smells as though it has been dead for many weeks, it has just leaped through the doorway. Move aside so that I may destroy it before it can implant it's egg sacks into our nasal cavities!"

Beastboy took a tentative step towards the alien girl, hands still held up placatingly. "No, Star, it's not a, uh, Zing-whatever filth-thingy. It's just my dirty uniform. It needs to be washed, not annihilated."

Starfire peered warily over the changeling's shoulder at the object in question. "You are certain? It bears a great resemblance to a filthworm."

Beastboy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Heh, yeah. I guess it **is** kinda gross. It was a tough day."

Starfire powered down her starbolts. Beastboy, noticing the open doors of the washer and dryer, asked, "So, I guess it's your week for laundry duty, huh?"

She nodded. "Indeed, it is my turn to do the washing of the clothes." With a last leery glance at the uniform, she went back to moving clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Beastboy walked over and picked up the uniform. "Look, Star, this thing is really kinda nasty. Why don't I just wash it myself."

Starfire turned and looked at him for a moment, as though deeply considering his offer. Finally, though, she resignedly held out her hand. "Thank you, friend Beastboy, but it is my turn for the doing of the laundry. It would be wrong to refuse the duty simply because the task is so exceedingly vile and odious. I shall wash it for you."

Beastboy blinked and handed the uniform to the alien girl. "Oh, um, thanks, I think." Starfire grasped it tentatively between two fingers, a poorly concealed look of queasiness marring her features.

Deciding to leave her to it, Beastboy set out for the kitchen once more. He had just about made it out the door of the laundry room when he was again stopped by her voice. This time, though, she didn't sound scared or angry or disgusted. She sounded confused.

"Um, Beastboy?"

He rotated in the doorway. Starfire was still holding the uniform in one hand. She had something else in her other hand, but Beastboy couldn't really tell what it was. "Yeah, Star?"

She glanced down at the object in her hand, and then back up to his face. "Robin has told me on many occasions that when I am doing the laundry I must check the pockets prior to their washing. He has been most adamant on this point."

_Yep, that sounds like Robin. _"Yeah, he always gets on me about that too."

"In the checking of your pockets, I discovered a most unexpected item. I am afraid that I do not understand the significance of it." Raising one hand, she showed him the object.

Beastboy's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, his face flushing heavily. _Oh God! Why did I... How could I... Oh crap!_

Held in Starfire's upraised hand was the front section of a tampon box. It was the portion Raven had torn off her empty box so that Beastboy would know what type to buy. He had forgotten about it and left it in the pocket of his uniform, and now Starfire had found it, holding it up and staring quizzically at him. "Friend Beastboy, perhaps my knowledge is incomplete, but I was unaware that human males also experience the cycle of menstruation."

Beastboy could only gape at her for a moment, the blood continuing to rush to his face at her words. Eventually, though, he found his voice. "NO! Starfire, guys do not experience the... the **that!**" Beastboy sincerely hoped that this would be the end of the conversation, and was in fact edging towards the door in an attempt to escape, but unfortunately his response just confused the girl more.

"While I am pleased that my knowledge of human physiology is not flawed, I still do not understand why you would possess such an item if not for your own needs." She continued to glance between the cardboard and the animorph. "Perhaps it is a hobby of some sort? Do you perhaps collect products of feminine hygiene?"

Beastboy, face contorting through a wide range of expressions, rushed to disavow her of this thoroughly disturbing thought. "Eww! NO! Gross! NO! Geez, Star, why would anyone collect something like that!"

Starfire furrowed her brow as she responded. "I am sorry if I have offended you, friend, but I must admit that I do not fully understand the hobbies of earthlings. Many of them seem most strange. I saw on the television that some collect insects and display them as decorations. Others find simple rocks and hoard them as trophies. Just yesterday I received a letter of a fan that requested I send him a pair of my underpants for his collection. I do not know why anyone would want a pair of used underpants."

"Star, you didn't offend me, it's just..." Beastboy did a double-take. "Wait. What? Some guy asked for your underwear?"

"Yes. It seemed most important to him that he receive them."

A distressing notion that he couldn't quite dismiss forced Beastboy to ask, "You didn't actually send them, did you?"

"No, I have not."

"Good."

His relief, however, was very short-lived as Starfire continued, "I have not had ample opportunity to travel to the office of post yet. Perhaps tomorrow..."

Beastboy began gesticulating wildly as he cut her off, hoping to dissuade her through sheer energy. "Ack! NO! Star, you can't send that guy anything. Nothing! Ever! Especially not your underwear!"

Starfire, apparently baffled by his manic reaction, asked in a very reasonable tone of voice, "But Beastboy, we often send the souvenirs to people. There have been many occasions that I have sent photographs and signatures. Robin has sent even one of his masks to a child. Is this somehow different?"

"Star, it's just..., he wants to..., this guy is...," Beastboy knew that he should approach this maturely and explain rationally to Starfire why it was inappropriate to send your underwear to strangers, regardless of how nicely they asked. She was not at all stupid, just a little naïve sometimes. Surely she would understand as long as he kept everything sophisticated and clinical and avoided slang and euphemisms. Really, it was the least he could do as her friend and teammate.

Or, he could pass the buck to someone else. _Hmmm... decisions, decisions..._

"Look, why don't you ask Rob..." Beastboy changed his mind in mid sentence. "Raven. Why don't you ask Raven. She can explain it a lot better than I can, ok?" While watching Robin try to communicate the answer of that particular question to Starfire would be absolutely hysterical, Beastboy thought that the team worked really well with five. If Robin were serving a life sentence for murder, it would just mean more work for everyone else.

Starfire was obviously still confused by his reticence, but conceded anyway. "Very well, Beastboy. I shall ask Raven."

Beastboy nodded and once again turned to leave. He hadn't even taken a single step, though, when Starfire pointed out, "But still you did not explain the reason for having this item in your pocket."

He didn't even bother to look back as he rapidly answered, "Ask Raven about that too. She will explain everything, I promise. I need to... I have to go to, uh, somewhere not here." And without giving the Tamaranian a chance to say another word, he beat a hasty retreat out the door and down the hallway.

He maintained his quick pace until he made it around the next corner. There he stopped and leaned against the wall, taking a moment to collect himself and allow the blush to fade from his cheeks. _Geez, how could I forget about that? I'm just glad it was Star instead of Cyborg or Robin. They would hold it over me forever._ With a sudden shock, Beastboy realized the truth of this last thought. They really would tease him forever about it. Maybe even longer than forever. It would be unbearable. He knew that, no matter what, those two could not find out, ever. Beastboy quickly took stock of any other evidence he may have overlooked.

_Ok, the cardboard piece Star already found, but Raven will explain it to her. I gave the box of stuff to Raven when it was just us in the tower.. The nose hair trimmers are, um... Ok, I'm not really sure what happened to them, but they were probably lost or blown up or somethin' in the fight with Control Freak. Either way, they can't be tied to me._ It didn't even bother Beastboy anymore that he was out fifty bucks on the trimmers, just so long as no one else found out about his trip today. _I have a clean uniform on. The other one is being washed. Raven took care of all my scrapes and bruises and stuff._

Beastboy continued to rack his brain for several more minutes, desperately searching for anything else that had the potential for embarrassment. As far as he was concerned, he had reached his quota of embarrassment for at least the next millennium or so. Finally, absolutely convinced that he hadn't missed any incriminating details, he resumed his journey to the kitchen in search of sustenance.

Stepping through the door to the living room, Beastboy saw Robin on the couch, television remote in hand, watching the evening news. Sitting next to him, quite obviously returned from his trip, was Cyborg. "Yo, Cyborg! When did you get back?"

Cyborg turned to look at the entering changeling as Robin continued to watch the news. "Hey, BB. Got back a couple hours ago. Where you been, man?"

Beastboy walked over and stood behind the couch. "Oh, just takin' a little catnap. Had to catch up on my beauty sleep."

"Hate to break it to you, mi amigo verde, but you better go back to sleep for a few more hours. Or years."

Beastboy crossed his arms in mock offense. "Haha, very funny, tin can. Not all of us get to take vacations to Steel City for no reason."

"No reason?" Cyborg, incredulous at this statement, pointed an accusing finger at Beastboy. "Look here, grass stain, I was updating their security systems, ok? That means that I, unlike some people around here, was actually working. What exactly did you accomplish today?"

"**NOTHING!**"

Even Robin turned around at this overzealous response. Beastboy, tugging nervously at his collar, did his best to backpedal. "Hehe, I mean, uh, not much, just chillin', just hangin', you know, doin' my thang." Noticing the odd looks they were giving him, Beastboy hurried to change the subject. "Uh, I'm just gonna go get somethin' to eat now."

Cyborg and Robin exchanged questioning glances, but could only shrug as the changeling walked away..

Arriving in the kitchen area, Beastboy opened the door of the fridge and browsed his options while internally berating himself. _Whoa, Beastboy, gotta be more careful. Almost gave it away there._

He pulled out a loaf of bread, a block of tofu, and the mayonnaise and laid them on the counter intending to make himself a sandwich. As he was pulling a knife out of a drawer, Robin called from the couch. "Hey, Beastboy, while you were asleep we got a call from the cops. Control Freak turned himself in earlier. He was acting pretty strangely, even for him. He kept mumbling something about 'Don't let them get me'." Beastboy couldn't help but chuckle at that as Robin continued. "But they questioned him and it appears he was working alone, not as an apprentice to Slade, so it turns out that you were wrong."

Beastboy gaped at the Boy Wonder. Cyborg turned and looked at Beastboy in disbelief. "You thought Control Freak was Slade's apprentice? Man, BB, you have had some wild conspiracy theories before, but that one takes the cake."

"But it wasn't... Robin said that... I was just... That's not fair!"

Robin gave him a particularly smug and condescending look. "Hey, not all leads pan out. But you have to admit, that was a pretty far-fetched idea."

A wide smile spread across Cyborg's face. "Yeah, man, you might want to be careful. If you don't watch it, you may end up even more paranoid than our fearless leader."

Robin threw a pillow at the metallic teen. "Shut up, Cyborg."

Beastboy sulked while beginning his sandwich preparation. _**My** stupid theory? Yeah, right. And even if it was, he thought it was a pretty good idea earlier. So first I'm a genius while he's trying to get me killed with Starfire, and an idiot now that Control Freak is caught. Besides, I'm the whole reason he turned himself in. You'd think I'd get a little credit sometimes. Stupid Robin. I hope his tights bunch. _

Beastboy continued to slather mayo on his bread and insults on the Boy Wonder until his sharp ears happened to pick up something from the television.

"...leave you with this last clip. It's security footage from the Jump City Superstore, complete with synched audio of the store's PA system. Our thanks go out to Doug Johnson, a long time employee of the store who submitted the footage..."

The knife froze in Beastboy's hand as his head jerked up to look at the screen. _Jump City SuperStore? Security footage with audio? Doug? No... it can't be..._

Cyborg and Robin were both still sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the pretty anchorwoman on the screen as she continued to speak. "It's none other than one of our resident superhero celebrities, and what he is doing... well, we'll just let you judge for yourselves. Be sure to join us again at 10 as we bring you your late news. Until then, so long, Jump City."

The phrase "resident superhero celebrities" was all it took for Beastboy to realize that he only had a few seconds before he might as well pack up and move to Siberia. Considering that he was not at all fond of the cold, it's perfectly understandable that the phrase was like the crack of a starting pistol for him.

Letting the knife and bread drop from his hands (the bread landing on the floor, mayonnaise side down, of course) he sprang over the counter and sprinted towards the couch. As he ran, his eyes homed in on the remote still held tightly in Robin's hand. Nearing the couch, Beastboy launched himself over it, hand outstretched as he flew through the air. He was so focused that he didn't even notice the absolutely thunderstruck looks on both Robin and Cyborg's faces as he tucked himself nimbly into a somersault and came up on one knee with the remote pointed at the screen.

It's a credit to Beastboy's speed and reflexes that he accomplished all of this before the anchorwoman had even completed her sign off. With a triumphant gleam in his eye, he jammed his thumb down on the power button before the news channel could broadcast his humiliation to his friends.

But, as Beastboy had already observed once, this was not his day.

The television did not turn off.

He pressed the button again.

Still nothing.

When the picture changed to a black and white, slightly grainy, but still totally clear view of the checkout lines at Jump City SuperStore, he pressed the button again.

Still nothing.

Eyes still on the screen, he could see the little boy, Michael, and his mom were just finishing their transaction. He could see himself on the screen, box pressed tightly against his leg, getting ready to check out.

Frenetically, he mashed the button again and again with both thumbs. Still the television would not turn off.

He took a quick peek at his friends. They were both staring at him in wide eyed amazement. And that was when Beastboy saw it. In his desperate lunge for the remote, ripping it out of Robin's hand, Beastboy hadn't even noticed that the battery cover had slid off and was still firmly in the grip of the Boy Wonder. Flipping the remote over he saw that, indeed, the batteries were no longer there.

He frantically cast about for the wayward components, but soon realized that it was too late. On the television, capturing the attention of all the Titan's in the room, the audio started.

"NO! NO! You can't do this to me. I have been blushing almost since I woke up! You can't embarrass me with a price check on TAMPONS!. No! I don't care if you have been a cashier for a bazillion years and stuff like this doesn't bother you. I don't care if it's against 'official store policy' for a customer to touch the stupid phone. I will not let anyone else embarrass me today! I already had to fend off one stupid employee guy who wouldn't leave me alone. Do you know how? I had to spend fifty bucks on some damn nose hair trimmers! I don't have any frickin nose hair. Up until a few years ago, I didn't even have any pubic hair! But I bought it anyways to try to save myself some grief, and now you want to do a price check on tampons! I saw the price, they were $4.79. You can trust me, I swear. Look at me. I have green skin, I have green hair. I can change into any animal you name if you want me to. I'm Beastboy, of the Teen Titans. The heroes of the city, we live in a giant T on the bay, we fight crime and the forces of evil and all that. You can trust me, the tampons are $4.79. There is absolutely no price check needed, do you understand! Just type in the amount and..."

It was odd for Beastboy to see the whole mortifying experience from earlier in the day played out on the television screen. It somehow seemed less real this way, almost as if it was just a part of a show rather than the awful reality of his life. And the voice he heard, the frenzied whisper of his slightly hysterical self, didn't even sound anything like him.

Of course, none of this was any consolation at all. Not once the laughing started. Before his on screen self even finished with his diatribe, Cyborg and Robin had literally collapsed in uncontrollable fits of gut busting hilarity.

Once again, for what was approximately the billionth time that day, Beastboy felt his face warm in a radiant, terrible blush. Beastboy's whole body slumped as he dropped the remote to the floor and began trudging his way to the exit. He thought that perhaps he should spend some time in his room alone. _For the whole rest of eternity sounds about right._

Before the dejected changeling could make it far, though, Cyborg impeded his progress with an arm around his shoulders, doing his best to speak through his laughter. "Hey, where are you off to in such a hurry? Have to go trim your nose hair?"

Before Beastboy could even make an attempt at explaining himself, Robin spoke up through his own chuckles. "Don't be silly, Cyborg. He doesn't have any nose hair, remember?"

"Oh, that's right. He must have spent fifty bucks so he would have something to trim all that pubic hair!"

Beastboy, face still brightly aglow, shrugged off Cyborg's arm and flopped down on the couch in resignation, slouching low with his arms crossed. _Might as well let them get it out of their systems._

"Hey, Cy, don't be too hard on him. You know he gets cranky during that time of the month."

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should hook him up with some Midol!"

"Oh, BB, I forgot to tell you, there was another call while you were asleep. It was Tampax, they were hoping you would be their new spokesperson!"

By this time, both Robin and Cyborg were positively howling with laughter. Clutching their sides, they fought to catch their breath, only to launch into another series of jokes that once again ignited their humor. After several rounds of this, Beastboy began to realize that it might be quite some time before they actually did get this out of their systems. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back onto the couch, doing his best to tune them both out.

"Hey, maybe we should mark this week on the calendar so we'll know when to expect..."

Cyborg's words were cut off abruptly, as was all the laughter. In the new silence, Beastboy heard two quick, consecutive thumps. Opening his eyes, he saw an interesting sight.

Cyborg and Robin were no longer standing in front of the couch delivering a steady stream of crass jokes through their strangled laughter. They were now both standing flat against the wall, arms outstretched, no sound at all escaping them. Their strange stance and sudden silence was undoubtedly due to the fact that each of them was surrounded by a glowing nimbus of dark energy. It encapsulated each of them from chest to toe, with an accompanying strip across their mouths.

Beastboy, more than a little surprised at this new development, looked around the room. Standing behind the couch and glaring venomously at the two pinned Titans was Raven. She was once again dressed in her uniform, complete with cloak, though her hood was down at the moment. Levitating around the couch, she stopped right in front of her two prisoners and spoke in a voice that threatened to single handedly reverse the trend of global warming.

"If either of you has anything you would like to say about tampons, I suggest you say it to me and leave Beastboy out of it. He was buying them for me. **He** was kind enough to offer to help out a friend. **He** went out of his way to do something he didn't really want to do just to save me the trip when I wasn't feeling well. **He** has done nothing but behave as a gentleman, certainly nothing that deserves your ridicule, and if you two cretins have a problem with that, then I will be happy to hear what you have to say. I think it's only fair to warn you, though, most people don't generally find it advisable to piss off a PMSing demon."

Beastboy watched in wonder as, with a wave of her hand, the strips of power at their mouths disappeared. Still pinned to the wall, neither one of them seemed to be in a hurry to say anything. Raven continued to stare at them for a moment before continuing. "Nothing to say? No jokes left?"

Robin and Cyborg very wisely kept their eyes down and their mouths shut.

"Fine. Now I think you two owe Beastboy an apology."

Beastboy stood and made his way to stand next to the empath. "Uh, Raven, they really don't have to..."

"**Yes, **they do have to. **Now!**"

Robin and Cyborg simultaneously muttered a quick, "Sorry, Beastboy."

Raven nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Now, Beastboy and I are going out for pizza..."

All three boys looked at her quickly in surprise and all starting talking simultaneously.

"Say what?"

"You are?"

"We are?"

Choosing to respond to Beastboy, Raven said, "Yes, we are. You did me a favor today, so the least I can do is spring for a pizza."

Beastboy was thoroughly nonplussed, his eyes glazing slightly as he attempted to process this new information.

Raven addressed Cyborg and Robin again. "We are going for pizza. The two of you are going to stay right where you are until we get back. Maybe then I will release you."

Robin quickly protested. "But.. we apologized!"

"Yes, you did. But that doesn't excuse your behavior. So, unless you want to sleep standing up tonight, I suggest you accept your punishment."

Robin opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by the entrance of Starfire. She quickly made her way over to them and took stock of the situation. There was obvious worry in her voice as she asked, "Raven, for what reason have you detained our friends?"

Beastboy noticed the suddenly hopeful looks on Cyborg and Robin's faces. He couldn't really blame them. Starfire actually had a pretty good track record of being able to calm Raven down. He should know, he had sought her intercession countless times. _Well, it was kinda funny while it lasted._

Raven answered the alien with a question of her own. "Starfire, you know what we were talking about earlier?"

"The inadvisability of sending ones undergarments to..."

Raven quickly cut her off. "No, not that. The other thing."

"Ah, you mean the favor that friend Beastboy performed for you?"

Raven nodded. "Yes, that. Robin and Cyborg found out about it and were making fun of him."

Starfire's eyebrows raised. "They were doing the teasing of him for performing the favor?"

Raven nodded again.

Starfire glanced at the two stuck on the wall, at Beastboy, and then back at Raven. "I see. In that case, I shall go and prepare dinner for myself and Silkie." And much to the astonishment of the male Titans, she turned and went into the kitchen area without another word.

Raven began moving towards the exit, obviously considering the conversation finished. Cyborg, though, still had a complaint. "Now hold on a second. You can't just leave us here while all y'all go off to eat. We're hungry too!"

Raven stopped, a pensive look on her face. "You know Cyborg, you're right. That really wouldn't be very fair, would it?"

Cyborg smiled at this apparent breakthrough. "Nope, not at all. So, you're gonna let us go?"

Much to the disappointment of the two wallpapered superheros, Raven shook her head. "No, you still have to be punished. But I think we can at least let you eat."

Raising her voice, Raven once again spoke to Starfire. "Hey, Starfire, since it's dinnertime would you mind fixing these two something to eat?"

Both Cyborg and Robin very quickly tried to express that this would not be at all necessary, and that they weren't really all that hungry anyways, but Starfire spoke over them. "Oh, I would be delighted! It is ok that I do this?"

Raven smirked evilly at Cyborg and Robin. "Oh, I think it's fine. But since they can't move their arms, you will have to feed them."

"Glorious! I shall prepare them a traditional Tameranian feast. And do not fear, friends Cyborg and Robin, I shall be happy to feed you and will be certain that you swallow every bite!" With this happy (or ominous, depending on your point of view) pronouncement, Starfire started preparing their dinner.

Cyborg and Robin wore looks of pure dread. It was Robin, though, who was able to express what they were both feeling. "Raven, you are a sick, twisted, evil, sadistic person."

Raven, as she headed towards the exit, threw back over her shoulder. "Yes, well, flattery will get you nowhere. Are you coming, Beastboy?"

Beastboy, not in any hurry to sample any Tameranian cuisine, followed swiftly in Raven's wake. As they exited the room, Beastboy turned back to his two former tormentors and waved. "Bon appetit, dudes!"

The door swished closed behind him, and he was once again alone with Raven. As they walked down the hallway, Beastboy looked over at her. "Thanks."

She glanced back at him, but seemed unwilling to maintain eye contact as her gaze quickly darted away. "For what?"

"Helpin' me with Robin and Cyborg. Who knows how long they coulda kept that up."

"Don't mention it."

After this short exchange they lapsed into silence as they continued walking towards the elevator. A rather awkward and uncomfortable silence. As they entered the elevator, their hands momentarily brushed against each other, causing both to blush noticeably. All of this served to thoroughly confuse Beastboy as they rode the elevator down, neither one willing or able to break the silence.

_I don't get it. Why is it so weird bein' around her all of the sudden. _Beastboy tried to trace back when the dynamic between them had changed. The day had started off pretty normally. He had pestered her until she got really angry and screamed at him, he had gone and apologized, she had accepted. That was all pretty much par for the course. _It was after that, when I got back from my trip. That whole thing in the hallway._

Having identified when he first noticed the difference, Beastboy found that that information did not help in the least with his current situation. As the elevator neared their destination, he decided that maybe it would be best to try to get things back the way they used to be. He could only think of one way to do that. _Ok, I will just give her an easy one. A perfect setup for her to slam me. Then maybe I can tell a few jokes and she'll call me stupid and we'll be back to normal again._

When the elevator arrived at the bottom, and the doors slid open, Beastboy executed his plan. Putting on his cheesiest grin and bowing with an exaggerated flourish, he stuck his arm out to her. "Might I have the pleasure of escorting the fair lady?"

Beastboy waited for her sharp retort, for the stinging barb that would mock him for the silly bow, or the lame compliment, or even just for the idea that she would possibly allow him to escort her anywhere.

It never came.

Raven looked at him, glancing back and forth from his arm to his face. Finally, though, with a bright blush, she placed her hand through his arm and stared straight ahead, totally unwilling to meet his gaze.

Beastboy was dumbstruck. He absolutely couldn't believe it. He had given her the perfect setup, but instead of a withering insult, she had done the unthinkable. She had called his bluff and taken him up on his offer.

The elevator door began to close again. Before it could, Raven reached out with her other hand and stopped it. Walking forward once more, she gave a slight tug to his arm, and he had no choice but to step out beside her.

Beastboy just couldn't understand. He didn't understand what could have possibly caused this change. He didn't understand how, in the space of less than a day, the entire dynamic of their relationship could have so drastically altered.

It was as they were stepping out of the tower that a realization hit him. Hard. Ton of bricks, runaway train hard. Here he was on a perfect autumn evening, a cool breeze playing through his hair and the sun just setting over the water, with a beautiful, smart, funny, amazing girl on his arm. It didn't really matter that, before today, she had never acted this way around him. It didn't really matter that, before today, he had never considered her as anything more than a friend. All that really mattered was now. And for now, he was just happy to be going out for pizza with Raven.

Beastboy placed his free hand on top of Raven's and gave it a gentle squeeze. She turned to him, looking nervous and tentative, but somehow hopeful. Their eyes locked. He smiled at her, a small, contented, understanding smile. And then it happened.

It was a bright shining sun finally fighting free of the clouds on a dreary, depressing, overcast day. It was the first glimpse of an oasis after traversing miles over the hot burning sand of a barren desert. It was a cheery fire crackling merrily in the fireplace after braving the howling, screeching wind of a blizzard. It was a smile. A warm, genuine, happy smile. It was Raven's smile, and it was directed at him.

Beastboy couldn't help the big grin that spread across his face or the warmth that spread through his heart as they walked arm-in-arm out of the tower, hands and eyes still joined, both finally comfortable with their silence, into the deepening sunset just beginning to set fire to the bay. And as they walked, he couldn't help but ponder this most unusual of days. The mundane beginning. The embarrassing conversation with Raven and the ensuing trip to the store. The encounters with Doug, with the three teens, with the little boy and his mom. The whole debacle at the register. The fight at the movie theater where he was almost killed, first by projectors and popcorn and then by Starfire. The battle with Control Freak in the alleyway. His concussion and bruises and scrapes. Then being embarrassed yet again, this time by his team, first in the laundry room by Starfire, and more maliciously by Robin and Cyborg just a few minutes ago in the living room. And now, the ultimate culmination of an arduous day, a simple smile. Raven's smile.

_Dude, it was totally worth it..._

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**A/N: **Thus ends my first ever chaptered fic. It took me entirely too long to finish it, ended up being MUCH longer than I expected (this was originally envisioned as a one shot, and even after deciding to make it chapters I never dreamed it would end up at well over 35000 words), and the wait between chapters was unconscionably long, but I got there in the end.

Speaking of the end, I hope no one is too disappointed. I realize that it may be a bit tame for some, and it's possible I shortchanged poor Beastboy a little after the harrowing day he had, but I just couldn't help it. The first couple of endings I wrote actually did have the whole big climactic kiss scene, but they just didn't feel right. They came across (at least to me) as rushed or unnatural. Maybe that was due to a deficiency of the author, but regardless, I didn't care for them at all. After several tries I landed on this ending, and really liked it in a less-is-more kind of way. It also gave me my chapter title. So, while I won't apologize for the way I ended it, I do hope that most of you found it sufficiently satisfying and enjoyable.

All things considered, I am pretty pleased with how this all turned out. It was a definite learning experience, and one that I enjoyed immensely. My most sincere gratitude goes out to everyone who has read the story, and especially those who took the time to review. The response I've received has been nothing short of amazing. I look forward to hearing what all of you have to say about this chapter and the story in general. I will be sure to reply to all signed reviews, unless specifically requested not to. Any and all reviews are appreciated and criticisms are viewed as an opportunity to improve my writing.

Once again, thank you.

Coeus


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